Open relationships are common between gay men, according to Barry Adam, a professor at the University of Windsor in Canada who presented a study on the topic during a sociological conference in Atlanta this week. (Photo by Ryan Lee)
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RYAN LEE
Friday, August 22, 2003
ATLANTA — Three-quarters of Canadian gay men in relationships lasting longer
than one year are not monogamous, according to a limited study presented during
the American Sociological Association conference held in Atlanta this week.
Barry Adam, a gay professor at the University of Windsor in Canada, last year
interviewed 70 gay men who were part of 60 couples for his study, “Relationship
Innovation in Male Couples.”
Only 25 percent of those interviewed reported being monogamous, with age and
experience playing a major factor, Adam said.
“Those who were monogamous were more likely to be younger, more likely
to be in newer, shorter relationships — that is, under three years — and
more likely to come from Latino or Asian immigrant groups who said a more romantic
approach is what they were used to,” Adam said.
Adam’s study was one of several on gay topics presented during the conference,
held Aug. 16-19 at the Hilton Atlanta. Some 4,100 researchers attended the
annual event.
Adam recruited the men for his study through ads in gay publications and leaflets
distributed at gay organizations and bars in Ontario. To qualify for the study,
the men had to be in a relationship for at least a year. The relationship of
one couple spanned 23 years.
The sample of 70 men — including both members of 10 couples and 50 other
men — included 41 Caucasians, 16 Asians, five men from African and Caribbean
descent, seven Latinos and one Canadian Aboriginal.
Adam said gay culture allows men to explore different, more successful, forms
of relationships besides the monogamy coveted by heterosexuals.
The men ranged between the ages of 20-60, and their annual income levels varied
greatly, with some making less than $10,000 and others making more than $60,000.
Some 26 of the men were HIV-positive, 42 were not and two did not disclose
their status.
“One of the reasons I think younger men tend to start with the vision
of monogamy is because they are coming with a heterosexual script in their
head and are applying it to relationships with men,” Adam said. “What
they don’t see is that the gay community has their own order and own
ways that seem to work better.”
Adam’s research team did not calculate the average length of non-monogamous
relationships. It was not clear if partners became non-monogamous over time,
or if they agreed to be in an open relationship from the beginning, Adam said.
The study sample was diverse but may not be representative of gay men as a
whole, because “genuinely random samples of gay and bisexual men are
virtually unachievable,” Adam said.
Matt Mutchler, a research and evaluation specialist for the AIDS Project Los
Angeles, presented a study on communication between gay men.
In interviews with 40 white and Latino gay men between the ages of 18-24,
Mutchler discovered that many wanted to practice safe sex, but lacked the knowledge
or fortitude to ensure they were protecting themselves.
“What they said runs contrary to the notion that gay men are totally
irresponsible or are behaving recklessly,” Mutchler said. “For
the most part, the unprotected sex they have is with people they consider to
be intimate partners.”
One of the primary problems the men in Mutchler’s study faced was a
lack of sex education that specifically addressed gay sex. Instead, the men
received what Mutchler called “safer education” — abstinence-until-marriage
messages that don’t consider that marriage remains unattainable for same-sex
couples.
“Public school teachers tend talk about safe topics like abstinence,
to avoid any discussion about homosexuality and to neglect talking about the
fact that gay men do have relationships,” Mutchler said.
To counter this silence, Mutchler developed “gay-boy talk,” a
program mirrored after traditional “girl talk” that allows young
females to discuss topics like pregnancy, marriage and rape.
“This piece is built on the idea that if you can effect discourse, you
can effect behavior,” Mutchler said.
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