Despite their techie format, Web logs aren’t much different than ‘Pillow books,’ the first diaries written by Japanese women in the 10th century royal court.
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MARK REILLEY
Friday, August 08, 2003
WHEN TALLULAH BANKHEAD said, “Only good girls keep diaries, bad girls don’t
have time,” she obviously couldn’t have foreseen the phenomenon of
blogging. The Web is crawling with girls and boys, good and bad, who regularly
write in their journals.
But these aren’t pink plastic, hasp-locked “My Diary” books
concealed under the bedroom mattress; they’re Internet diaries called
Web logs and are fast becoming a way to let you — and the world — get
to know a little, or a lot, about the author.
Web logs, or “blogs” for short, contain day-by-day musings about
life, including the mundane (“I like Madonna because she looks a little
like my mother.”), strange (“I like to weigh myself after I poop.”),
amusing (“I take the lemons life gave me and throw them at passing cars.”)
and universal (“Growing up I always knew I was different.”).
Instead of hiding them on the closet shelf, bloggers post their entries to
the Internet to be seen by anyone with prying eyes and a clicking mouse. And
unlike the older brother who reads your diary, snickers and leaves, your blog
audience members get to insert their own comments and thoughts about everything
you’ve just written.
I have been a more traditional journaler since the 1980s when I began writing
about my coming out experiences. For me, being gay meant feeling alone. Friendless.
A freak. Trapped in a teenage bedroom reeking of confused melodrama, I desperately
befriended a journal that helped me come to terms with all those “Am
I the only one?” feelings and fears.
Back then, the name of the game was secrecy; so I kept my journal hidden in
the closet, far away from my two snooping, straight older brothers.
Like my conventional blank books, Web logs can smooth the coming out process,
though for bloggers like Bart at NYU, secrecy is now augmented by a DSL connection
and isolation is replaced by an audience of cyber soul mates.
Bart used his blog (trabaca.com)
to announce his coming out. Rather than directly tell his friends he was gay,
he let them read about it in a Web posting:
“There is something I have wanted to write about here that
I haven’t been able to write about before, partly because I haven’t
felt ready to tell anyone … What I’m trying to say is that I
am gay.”
I’m so proud of you.
Congratulations!
I just wanted to say that your story sounds similar to mine.
I was like you a few years
ago too…
Bart often gets e-mail from others in the process of coming out who, he
says, “mention
how surprised they are to find someone else who went through the same thing
they did.”
UNLIKE BRIEF AND often calculated chat room profiles and photographs, Web
logs can offer a more meaningful portrait of the person behind the keyboard.
These details can facilitate relationships by disclosing personality facets
that instant messaging might not reveal.
Despite being what he considers a shy person, Bart befriended, traveled with
and even shared a dorm with some of his fellow bloggers. “My readers
have been there for me each step along the way,” he says. “We offer
[each other] support in the ‘You’re not alone’ way.”
That compassionate tone is evident on Goddess Musings, the blog (veronicas.org/babyblog)
of self-described feminist, tomboy, liberal, queer-hetero and expectant mom
Roni. When her baby, Paris, was two days overdue, Roni wrote:
“My family is starting to ask, ‘Is the baby here yet? Huh? Huh?’ Don’t
ask a very pregnant woman that! Especially one who gets very pissy, very quickly!” —
I’m crossing my fingers that things will go OK!
I too want to wish you a safe and quick delivery! *hugs*
Hold on for another week … I wanna win [the online betting
pool]!
Bart and Roni are just two of an estimated 4 million members of the online
journaling “blogosphere.” Joining the community is easy. Many sites
will store your journal on their computers and supply you with free authoring
software, provided you display their logo in your journal.
For $15, you can get an ad-free blog. In less than five minutes, I created
a username, entered a “bio” (hometown, hobbies, personal philosophy)
and was ready to start posting my own entries to the Internet.
Despite their online format, Web logs aren’t much different than “Pillow
books,” the first diaries written by Japanese women in the 10th century
royal court. Since then, diaries written by historical and cultural figures
ranging from Christopher Columbus, Harry S. Truman, Virginia Woolf, and Andy
Warhol have been discovered and discussed.
When Harry Truman’s 1947 diary was recently found, library director
Michael Devine said, “We are able to hear that strong personal voice
that Truman almost always projected in his writings. We learn something new
both about his presidency and about him, as a person.”
Like Truman, contemporary public figures express themselves through their
own diaries, though theirs are online. Last month almost a quarter of a million
people visited the blog of conservative political and social commentator Andrew
Sullivan. His regularly updated journal (www.andrewsullivan.com) includes observations
on faith, culture and politics and letters from his readers.
Sullivan, who is gay and lives in Washington, D.C., suggests the expanding
blogosphere will have a formidable impact on the literary world because, “a
writer no longer needs a wealthy proprietor to get his message across to readers.
Younger or more talented writers can bypass [the established newspaper market]
and write directly to an audience.”
Though blogs have reached critical mass, Sullivan thinks it is too soon to
tell if blogs are part of a true media revolution or are just a passing fad,
especially since only about 60 percent of them are updated more than once
a month.
Author, activist and blogger Keith Boykin, the former executive director of
the National Black Lesbian & Gay Leadership Forum, updates his journal
(www.keithboykin.com) almost 300 times a year. He says he writes about whatever
is “not being said in the news or in the world” — anything
from politics and sex to meditation and the X-men.
Boykin, who lives in New York City, says he draws the line at friends and
family because, “I don’t want people to stop talking to me out
of fear that our conversations will end up on the Internet.”
With archives going back to the1980s, Boykin’s site gets lots of e-mail
from people who are surprised by the content but inspired by the honesty of
his disclosures.
“All I do is write what I feel, click a few buttons, and presto, I’m
published,” he says.
THAT SECRETS CAN be shared so easily doesn’t seem to intimidate most
bloggers. Marti, a 35-year-old male-to-female transsexual, journals to stay
in touch with children she lost contact with after her divorce.
“Transitioning has cost me dearly — money, family, and friends,” she
says. “Yet in that void, I have met some truly great people. I consider
them my ‘chosen family.’”
Marti’s blog (transadvocate.com/marti/journal.htm)
includes photographs, occasional rants, and links for other transgender online
users looking for
support.
For “Shan” from Southern Illinois, online honesty is crucial to
an authentic blog but that candor may become a liability. “I’ve
made many friends through my site, and a few enemies too,” he says.
Shan recommends using a pseudonym or keeping two journals: one for strangers
to read and one for the friends.
Just as writing progressed from stone tablet to flat screen monitor, blogs
also are evolving. Newer sites are becoming less personal and more corporate:
Some now request online donations to pay for bandwidth or provide links that
support political agendas.
But the basic concept remains the same: people sharing themselves through
their diaries.
Soon after the death of his mother, President Truman wrote in his own journal, “I
couldn’t look at her dead. I wanted to remember [her] alive when she
was at her best.”
To be remembered (though maybe not always at our best) is perhaps why any
of us even bother to keep diaries.
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