Editors’ note: This is the first in a series examining the drug crystal methamphetamine and its impact on gay men.
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JOE CREA
Friday, September 12, 2003
For nine years, crystal methamphetamine was a “totally manageable” drug
for “Carlos,” a 35-year-old D.C. man who asked to remain anonymous.
His use was limited to the weekends to attain a high that he shared on the
dance floor or at small parties with friends. One of his favorite activities
was taking a bump of crystal on a Saturday morning, turning up the stereo and
cleaning the house.
But in early 2001, the frequency of Carlos’ use of crystal meth increased
to dangerous levels. The worry-free Saturday mornings were supplanted by the
drug’s well-known menacing hold: binge bumping, lack of sleep, recklessness
and as Carlos describes it, an insatiable hunt for “animalistic sex.”
“I started doing things sexually on crystal that I wouldn’t normally
do,” said Carlos, who added that he and his partner never practiced unsafe
sex during their escapades. “My partner and I started doing three-ways,
and I soon found out that we were trying to top our last sexual experience.
“Once you get into the true addictive stage [of crystal], the sexual
experience must be bigger than, and more intense than, the previous one. If
you did a three-way last weekend, you have to do two three-ways the following
weekend, or a four-way. At the time I felt this was all perfectly reasonable
and fine.”
Crystal methamphetamine — also known as, crystal, crank, tweak, T, go-fast,
speed and Tina — is an amphetamine-based drug designed to stimulate the
central nervous system. It is typically snorted, smoked, injected or swallowed
and has become a favorite drug among club-goers, notably among gay men.
Studies have shown that the preferred method for taking the drug varies from
region to region. According to a 2000 study by the National Institute on Drug
Abuse, 60 percent of crystal meth users in San Diego prefer to smoke the drug,
while a majority of users in the Minneapolis area sniff it. In Texas, 60 percent
of users were found to be injecting the drug.
According to the 2000 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse, an estimated
8.8 million people (four percent of the population) have tried methamphetamine
at some time in their lives, up from 4.8 million in 1996.
Regional data suggest that the problem is on the rise among gay men. In San
Francisco, health officials estimate that up to 40 percent of gay men have
tried crystal meth, according to a report in the San Francisco Chronicle.
In New York, a study last year found that more than 50 percent of gay men
who admitted to using drugs or alcohol in the previous year had also tried
crystal meth, up from 10 percent of gay men surveyed in bars and clubs in 1998,
according to research by the Center for HIV/AIDS Educational Studies & Training.
One bump of crystal can result in a six- to 24-hour high, marked by a decreased
appetite and lowered inhibitions, said Joseph LaFleur, a licensed, independent
clinical social worker and club-drug counselor in the D.C. area.
“Crystal meth gives one a sense of well-being and belonging,” LaFleur
said. “People say they easily fit into most social situations, have more
energy for dancing, better interactions with people and a lot of folks use
it to enhance their sexual experiences.”
But despite the perceived “benefits” the drug produces, the immediate
and long-term results are harmful, said Michael Siever, director of the Stonewall
Project, a harm reduction-counseling program for gay and bisexual men in San
Francisco.
“A lot of people, over time, start to get more and more paranoid,” Siever
said. “They get psychotic; the crash is horrible. Everyone is ready to
quit while they are crashing but that subsides. … One of the biggest
side effects is that people don’t take care of themselves when they are
high — they don’t eat, sleep — and the drug has some pretty
long-term lasting effects on your brain chemistry. It strongly impacts the
dopamine in your brain and that does not heal quickly.”
Siever described crystal abuse as an ongoing crisis that has been an issue
for many years. He said statistics in California show that it is the most commonly
used drug on the West Coast.
One of the biggest problems related to crystal abuse is its strong link to
risky sex and HIV transmission, Siever said.
“The two issues are intertwined,” he said. “A lot of men
shoot speed and that’s a possible method of HIV transmission. And secondly,
the reality for most gay men is that when they get high, they tend to have
sex. Speed keeps them high for days on end. They fuck as many people as they
can fuck with nary a condom in sight.”
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| Recent statistics show that crystal methamphetamine use is on the rise.
Nearly 9 million people are estimated to have tried the drug in 2000. |
And even if the crystal user is wearing a condom, Siever said that after
several continuous hours of sex, the condom will eventually wear and rip.
“When many are high on crystal, they get into more extreme sex, rougher
sex, creating endless scenarios for HIV transmission,” Siever said.
Carlos said his relationship with his last boyfriend was built upon crystal.
Both had a strong appetite for the drug and neither bothered to “keep
the other’s habit in check.”
When Carlos finally decided to go sober, he tried to maintain his relationship.
But Carlos found himself eager to indulge in the drug during his partner’s
sporadic use and discovered that being exposed to even the smallest amount
of crystal was an impediment to kicking his addiction.
The two parted ways when Carlos said he couldn’t be in a relationship
where crystal was present.
“My partner said, ‘Well, I’m not done yet,’ so we
broke up,” Carlos said. “This is the hallmark of crystal abuse.
It hurts to think that someone could choose a drug over a person. That a person
can actually say, ‘I choose to continue using this drug over being with
you.’ Think about that.”
Many gays feel alienated and tend to involve themselves with the drug to help “connect” better
with others, Siever said.
“Many are lonely and disconnected,” Siever said. “The drug
helps give them an entrée to a whole group of men. It seems like intimate
contact, but it is not. Everyone feels like you’re their best friend.
The user goes from a shy, retiring wallflower to being the life of the party.”
Jim Singlar, who runs the outpatient program for the Pride Institute in Manhattan,
a program that provides treatment and counseling for crystal abusers, said
that by the time the addict contacts his group, they often don’t even
remember why they started using the drug in the first place. All they know
is that they can’t stop.
“It’s the worst thing that I’ve ever seen come down the
pipes,” Singlar said. “Crystal is everything that cocaine is except
it is cubed. Some take weeks to get down to a baseline. Every 21 days of their
recovery, the bottom falls out of their mood and the drug talks to them and
says, ‘You will never feel good unless you use me.’”
Carlos acknowledges that he will never be able to use crystal recreationally
again. He thought after 90 days of sobriety — a typical benchmark many
crystal addicts set for themselves — he could use the drug “responsibly.” He
took a bump on his 93rd sober day and said that any delusions that he harbored
about being able to use the drug again were erased.
Singlar said relapse rates are very high, especially after about three weeks
of sobriety.
At the height of his addiction, Carlos said he had hoped that with each bump
of crystal he would be whisked away to his carefree Saturday mornings of cleaning
the house, but all such desires were dashed after his first bump.
“The non addict does a bump and enjoys it. The addict does a bump and
thinks about where the next one is coming from,” Carlos said.
In what Carlos refers to as one of his more ironic moments during his crystal
addiction, he coordinated an intervention for a friend who was abusing crystal.
Carlos thought his problems were trivial after listening to his friend’s
tales of hitting rock-bottom that once included spending 12 consecutive hours
in a bathhouse.
“I wasn’t doing anything near that,” Carlos said. “As
long as I could compare my stuff to his, I was fine.”
Carlos is no longer using crystal and currently sees a psychiatrist and has
received a tremendous amount of support from his close friends. He expressed
disappointment in some friends who did not reach out to help him.
“The addict faces a one-two punch when they are recovering,” Carlos
said. “You are facing the addiction and the prospect of losing a relationship.
It’s sad when people you consider friends don’t reach out.”
NEXT WEEK: A look at the spread of crystal use among gay men and the physical
damage the drug can do to users.
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