Sep 19, 2003  |  By: JOE CREA  | COMMENTS     

began to pace his house, stare out of his windows and run outside to “try to catch them.”

During this time, sex for Clinton, in all its raw, uninhibited glory, became routine and comfortable. Clinton would meet men online, at clubs and at a local sex club. He describes the sex as “never safe” but “by the grace of God,” he remained HIV-negative.

“I should be positive,” Clinton said. “As far as I’m concerned, I won the lottery. I’d say that roughly 60 percent of the individuals who I know [from crystal meth anonymous meetings] are positive.”

Slim data on gay use
There is very little statistical data to show that crystal affects gays disproportionately. But many treatment specialists and former users have their own theories about why so many gay men fall victim to Tina’s addiction.

Marc Cohen, president of the United Foundation for AIDS and head of the Crystal Meth Community Educational Forum in South Florida, said he believes that gays are disproportionately affected by crystal because it reduces inhibitions, provides the “biggest bang for the buck,” heightens levels of arousal and provides a sense of connection.

“It’s the stigma amongst gay men themselves that drives people to the drug,” Cohen said. “The positives discriminate against those who are negative. If someone is HIV negative, they aren’t invited to the barebacking party. A positive person might not feel comfortable having bareback sex with a negative guy. But when meth becomes a part of the equation, it breaks down discrimination and, as a result, with meth around, discrimination doesn’t exist.”

Some activists have argued that gays are drawn to crystal because of an intolerant society. Clinton scoffed at that notion and said the “worst enemies of gay men are gay men.”

“It’s not the religious right or Republicans pushing us away, we have more or less assumed a place in society,” Clinton said. “We’ve passed the tipping point, in the sense that people have accepted that we are now a part of society. Even the most conservative of people aren’t talking about running us out of the country or firing us all from our jobs.”

Cohen and Clinton agreed that crystal meth provides the user with the raw, “natural” sexual feelings of the type common in a 17-year-old male just beginning to sexually mature, which can be attractive lure for someone seeking to jump-start his sex life.

“When you are young and having sex, you are like a kid in a candy store,” Clinton said. “But as time goes by, you really start, through your body’s own natural process, to come to the realization that with sex, things aren’t new anymore. Sex starts to lose its edge. It becomes less fun. Crystal can give that edge back to you. That unadulterated, unbridled sexual charge that you had when you were younger.”

But it is this desire to return to a sexual innocence, a clean slate, that motivates the average crystal user. Cohen said that this craving is often so strong that many don’t even consider the many negative side effects of the drug until they notice the aesthetic impact of crystal.

“Many are in a strong state of denial about the side effects and manifestations of usage,” Cohen said. “Only until their health diminishes, jobs are l