The Oct. 27 episode of the ‘Oprah Winfrey Show’ explored
the topic of gay married men. Some gay studies experts disagree with the figures
Winfrey cited during the broadcast. (Photo by AP)
advertisement
advertisement
|
DYANA BAGBY
Friday, November 05, 2004
OH, OPRAH. YOU got it wrong. That’s what some experts in the study of gay
married men are saying about Oprah Winfrey’s recent show, “My Husband’s
Gay.”
“Did you know this? There are… millions, millions of married men
who are secretly gay,” the nation’s most-watched talk show host
announced in opening her Oct. 27 show.
But that estimate is “completely incorrect,” says Amity Pierce
Buxton, executive director of the Straight Spouse Network and author of “The
Other Side of the Closet.”
Buxton, 75, was married to her husband for 25 years before he came out, prompting
her to write the book in 1986.
Using academic research and Census figures that consider the size of the gay
population and the percent of that population that has been married, Buxton
estimates up to 2 million marriages in which a spouse — man or woman —
identifies as gay or may come out as gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Her research also includes more than 20 years of interviews with 9,500 spouses
in so-called “mixed-orientation marriages.”
“Of these, some come out, some will not, and some will never act on their
same-gender feelings,” Buxton says.
WINFREY REFERRED TO Buxton’s research, without citing her during the
show, when she told viewers that 15 percent of these couples with a gay spouse
will stay together, according to a spokesperson for the “Oprah Winfrey
Show.”
As for Winfrey’s proclamation that there are “millions, millions
of married men who are secretly gay,” the spokesperson says producers
of the show used two sources: the Aug. 13 edition of “Good Morning America”
featuring Carol Grever, author of “My Husband is Gay,” and Grever’s
book itself.
Grever’s book details her 30-year marriage and her husband’s coming
out, and includes accounts from 25 women whose husbands also said they are gay.
Winfrey profiled Grever and her husband, Jim, during the Oct. 27 show, in which
he admitted to having sex with 1,000 men during his marriage.
Eric Kurtz, 68, founder of the Boston Gay & Bisexual Married Men’s
Support Group, says the inclusion of Grever and other men who admitted high
numbers of same-sex affairs while married gave the episode a “sensational
slant.”
DURING THE SHOW, Winfrey also questioned a gay man, identified only as David,
about how married men seek sex with other men on the Internet and in personal
ads. Without providing any biographical information, Winfrey presented him as
an expert source.
“I think people will be surprised how prevalent it is,” David says
on the show. “They’re probably thinking it’s a small subculture
of men when in reality it’s a very large population of married men that
are out there that are looking for [sex].”
The show selected David as a guest after he filled out a form on the “Oprah”
Web site, according to a show spokesperson.
“Most of what she has on the show is anecdotal… and to present
it as the incarnate truth is exploitive — to the men, their wives and
to the audience,” says Bill Ryan, a professor of social work at McGill
University in Montreal who counsels gay married men.
A spokesperson for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, a media
watchdog, says the group contacted the show to ensure future episodes “better
represent our lives.”
|
