Jul 30, 2004  |  By: RHONDA SMITH  | COMMENTS     

CIVIL RIGHTS LAWYER Evan Wolfson read an excerpt from his first book, “Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People’s Right to Marry,” on a rainy Thursday night in Washington last week.

Then he patiently answered questions from the crowd gathered at Olsson’s Books & Records, near Dupont Circle, that included high school friends, Peace Corps colleagues and people from “the movement.”

The 242-page book includes 10 chapters answering key questions that Wolfson says seem to crop up the most often. It also includes four short sections at the end and a detailed list of local and national resources for people, he says, “who want to go out and do something.”

In a conversation with the Blade the following day, he shared more.

Washington Blade: Why do you consider the term “gay marriage” or “same-sex marriage” inaccurate?

Evan Wolfson: I say in the book, on Page 17, that we’re not asking for “gay marriage” or “same-sex marriage,” which implies something lesser or different or other. Nor are we trying to “redefine” marriage, as our opponents like to put it. Rather, we are asking for an end to discrimination in marriage. We are seeking to participate in the same institution — with the same rules, same responsibilities and same respect. So the right term is “marriage.”

Blade: You say you wrote the book for supporters of gay civil rights and for the “reachable, but not yet reached.” What does that mean?

Wolfson: People in the middle who are right now wrestling with their position and who, on the one hand, may be somewhat uncomfortable talking and thinking about gay people. The ones who kind of wish this goes away or who feel some anxiety about change, but also want to be fair. They don’t want to be cruel. They want to do the right thing. So, the book is really aimed at engaging them. Walking through their questions. Each chapter is a question. Giving layer upon layer of answers. [I try to] reason with them and walk them through it.

Blade: How does your book differ from the numerous other books out there right now about marriage rights for gay couples?

Wolfson: I don’t want to criticize what’s out there but mine really is organized question by question. Each chapter is a question that over the years I’ve heard people wrestling with. So it really tries to systematically engage people question by question to persuade them. And I think it’s a strong mix of many voices. There are lots of stories and lots of quotes from non-gay as well as gay people. There’s a little bit of history. A little bit of law. And pretty hefty quotes from the opposition as well.

Blade: How important are straight allies in this civil rights moment?

Wolfson: Absolutely crucial. No civil rights movement is won solely by the people who are the primary targets of discrimination, important though their work is. We are a minority and we must reach out to persuade the majority, and to do that we need our non-gay brothers and sisters.

Blade: Have gay civil rights leaders done a good job in reaching out to their allies?

Wolfson: Yes, but there’s much more to be done and more that can be done. But this is not just about the leaders and the organizations, though their work is important. This is really about how each one of us, as a person, can do our part. You don’t have to be the head of an organization or the most super political person to help make change happen.

Blade: In the book and during your appearance here, you seem comfortable drawing parallels between gay civil rights and the civil rights movement led by African Americans. How do you answer critics who object to this comparison?

Wolfson: In Chapter 9, the second largest chapter in the book, I talk about this. First of all, the major civil rights voices in our country — people like Congressman John Lewis, Coretta Scott King, Julian Bond, the National Hispanic Leadership Agenda, the Asian American Legal Defense & Education Fund, the Japanese American Citizens League, and MALDEF [Mexican American Legal Defense & Educational Fund] — all these major civil rights voices have said they believe this is a civil rights question and they strongly support marriage equality.

I also point out that every group’s experience with discrimination is unique. And certainly the African-American experience in the United States is unparalleled in its violence, discrimination and indignity. So we shouldn’t make ...