Aug 20, 2004  |  By: Cyd Zeigler Jr. and Bryan Anderton | COMMENTS     

IN JULY 31, MANY gay civil rights advocates as well as journalists, lawyers, teachers, clergy members and other Fenceberry fans got the e-mail they all knew would come one day.

It contained three words: “That’s all, folks!”

For the last eight years, two lesbians in Omaha, Neb. — Aleta Fenceroy, 55, and Jean Mayberry, 54 — have been the driving force behind a gay-news distribution service that many found indispensable in keeping updated on the whirlwind of gay news unfolding worldwide.

“I knew I would know when the time was right to quit, and I just did,” Fenceroy says. “The day before, I probably wouldn’t have said I was ready to quit, but then [on that day] it was just time.”

The e-mail service was started in 1993 by Bill Stosine of Iowa City, Iowa. At the time, Fenceroy and Mayberry, who have been a couple for 13 years, were living in Sioux City, Iowa, and putting out a print newsletter that informed local supporters about gay issues around the world. The two women came to rely on Stosine’s service for much of their newsletter.

When Stosine decided in 1996 to stop operating, Fenceroy and Mayberry acquired his e-mail list and resources and began distributing “Fenceberry” through e-mail.

Subscribers received several e-mails every day from the two women, chronicling gay-related news stories, columns and letters to the editor that appeared in news publications around the world. It was a labor of love — neither of them ever received a penny for their efforts.

During the eight years that they published Fenceberry, finding the news actually became much easier, despite the fact that compiling it took much longer near the end of their run because of the sheer volume of gay news available by then.

“Over the years, it’s changed a little bit, because in ’96, not that many papers had Web sites, and [gays] weren’t written about that much either,” Fenceroy says. “Now, it’s much easier. There are a lot more search engines for us to find that material.”

TWO ROADBLOCKS pushed Mayberry and Fenceroy to stop operating Fenceberry. The first was AOL blocking them from sending mass e-mails. On Friday, July 30, they said they were told that the Internet giant had received seven different complaints about Fenceberry spam from their readers and had labeled them “spammers.” Fenceroy says the two never sent their e-mail service unsolicited.

The overriding reason for the couple’s decision, however, was their desire to get their lives back.

For the first few years they operated the service, Mayberry did the bulk of the work while Fenceroy was a student. They worked on the project equally the following year, before Fenceroy took over the bulk of the research with Mayberry there to “make coffee and for emotional support.”

“It was nice staying in touch with the people, but it was intensely demanding,” Fenceroy says. “I’m more obsessive-compulsive than [Mayberry] is.”

Fenceroy says she worked a minimum of three to four hours a day on research, selection and distribution of the news stories. During the week, she spent an hour before heading off to work as a computer programmer.

She spent part of her day at work looking through various Web sites of newspapers and organizations for gay-related stories. When she returned home, she would spend at least two more hours working on the project before sending off the mass e-mails. On the weekends, she still made time to cull the news and distribute it to eager readers.

The day the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court opened the door for gay couples who want legal marriage rights, Fenceroy stayed home from work so her readers could be the first to hear the news.

Fenceroy says that the time demand was the hardest part about working on the listserv.

“The work itself wasn’t difficult,” Fenceroy says. “The only thing stressful about it was trying to find the time. …The process was very simple, actually — I had my search routine set and I sent it out through e-mail — but it just took a lot of time.”

When asked if the workload ever put a strain on her relationship with Mayberry, Fenceroy says it did not.

“Not really — we’re both pretty independent people,” Fenceroy says. “Yeah, Jean is relieved now that I have more time to spend with her, but she never guilted me about doing it. She knew that when I was ready to quit, I would quit. I have been neglecting her. But it hasn’t really put a strain on the relationship, because she’s been tolerating that, and she recognized ...