even
with
that
stupid
brushdown
haircut.
at
Starbucks
at
6:30
in
the
morning
with
porn
DVDs
in
your
hands
talking
vulgar
about
your
previous
night
partying:
You
are
an
embarrassment.
who
idolize
music
made
for
teenagers?
I
know
many
of
us
are
stunted
because
we
didn’t
get
to
do
a
lot
of
that
other
stuff
kids
did,
but,
damn,
that
shit
is
so
juvenile.
I
do
mind
a
culture
that
emulates
bitchy,
undereducated
women.
All
this
“gurl”
and
“you
got
that
right”
makes
me
wanna
puke.
If
we
show
we’re
afraid,
then
that
just
means
assaulting
gay
men
works.
other
than
“not
on
food
stamps”?
but
hooking
up
with
guys
in
the
gym
sauna
every
other
day
does
count
as
sex
and
is
technically
cheating
on
your
boyfriend.
and
self-development
as
you
did
to
the
“scene,”
you
might
have
been
something.
If
you’ve
been
coming
into
a
gay
chatroom
for
more
than
two
years,
the
new
rule
is
you
can’t
call
yourself
bisexual.
:
You
must
not
be
a
Libra,
Aries,
Taurus,
Pisces,
Aquarius
or
Virgo.
They
all
like
us.
Bitch
Boy
responds:
What
is
the
sign
for
“needs
a
life”?
,
turn
your
ballcap
backwards,
and
lift
weights
five
times
a
week,
guess
what?
You’re
still
not
a
jock.
.
What
little
is
going
on
is
in
the
worst
parts
of
the
city
and
straight
couples
are
all
over
it
in
the
suburbs.
Boring!
doesn’t
mean
homosexuality
is
a
form
of
narcissism.
It’s
actually
because
opposites
attract.
unless
you
fantasize
about
masturbating
while
you
are
making
out
with
your
partner.
in
our
gayborhoods?
They
march
down
our
sidewalks
three
abreast,
a
phalanx
in
flip-flops
and
ponytails,
and
expect
everyone
to
get
out
of
their
way.
When
others
approach,
it
should
be
single
file,
please!
.
Nowadays
everybody
is
either
wearing
flip-flops
or
gawking
at
guys
who
are.
But
they
don’t
even
seem
to
know
why.
It’s
the
feet,
people!
And
I
was
here
first.
:
It’s
not
so
easy
if
you
were
really
in
love.
Not
all
of
us
can
just
turn
that
off
and
give
up
the
love
of
your
life
without
a
fight.
Bitch
Boy
responds:
Cue
the
“Psycho”
music…
:
Thanks
for
proving
I
can
do
better.
about
being
yourself
rather
than
just
a
distasteful
choice?
Speedos
are
meant
to
show
off
your
best
assets,
not
accentuate
your
worst.
.
Luv
ya
for
it.
Kiss
kiss
from
your
community.
But
if
fat
is
so
fabulous,
then
why
do
so
many
men
with
Hindenburg
waistlines
chase
after
buff
guys?
Only
gym
fanatics
manage
to
keep
it
off
consistently.
We
don’t
all
have
the
stamina
or
financial
resources
to
hire
personal
trainers.
and
make
it
even
harder
for
me
to
steal
them.
I’ll
have
to
play
the
mistress,
and
he
may
never
leave
the
bitch
because
of
what
he
stands
to
lose
through
divorce.
on
homophobic
Christian
terrorist
Eric
Rudolph
if
he
isn’t
set
apart
from
the
prison
population.
His
good
looks
will
have
him
perpetually
fighting
off
unwanted
attention.
to
have
“All-American”
in
my
online
profile?
I
think
anyone
of
any
race
can
be
nice,
honest,
wholesome
and
have
a
positive
attitude.
Most
couples
I
know
who
keep
their
money
separate
aren’t
afraid
to
pay
more
of
their
share.
,
you
broke
my
heart,
and
you
make
three
times
as
much
money
as
I
do.
So
don’t
complain
when
you
have
to
buy
me
dinner.
You
got
the
better
end
of
the
deal.
So
why
does
it
seem
that
the
smaller
the
town,
the
bigger
the
drama?
Not
every
gay
man
is
single
and
looking
to
hook
up.
Some
of
us
have
partners
and
are
not
interested.
As
soon
as
we
broke
up,
the
first
guy
you
met
is
now
“the
one.”
So
you
wonder
why
I
didn’t
feel
special
enough
to
spend
more
time
with
you?
