Nov 25, 2005   | COMMENTS     

I’m 35. I’m not an old troll. I look better and younger than most of you overweight 20-somethings.

Who decided that every single gay charity event has to involve some tired, old, drugged out drag queens who just need to get a grip on life, admit they have a penis and stop trying to be women?

Everybody’s a homo (pause) sapien. Of course, some of us are more animal than others.

Did you hear the recent newscast about the pregnant male fish in the river? Wouldn’t you know that they are called “large mouth” something or other.

To the bear who “feels the unwelcome eyes of bear-haters” from “muscle-twinks” who usually end up under you in bed: You’re just insecure and paranoid when you go to bars. What the hell is a “muscle-twink” anyway? That’s like calling someone a tall midget.

Bitch Boy responds: You’ve never heard someone described as, “body of Tarzan, voice of Jane”?

A very attractive guy that surrounds himself with less attractive friends isn’t a narcissist. He just isn’t so shallow that he bases his friendships on appearance, like the guy who accused him of narcissism.

To the queen condemning the guy who came out at 45: better late than never. You’re just bitter because the closet was never an option for your overtly nelly ass.

My girlfriend who professes to love me thinks I’m going to hell for being an atheist. Did I mention that we are a pair of very sexually active lesbians?

I have never met a lesbian that practices safer sex. Have we learned nothing from our gay brothers?

Bitch Boy responds: Do you know how hard it is for HIV to be transmitted during lesbian sex?

God sure must hate straight people. She keeps sending hurricanes to straight neighborhoods while leaving gay areas like the French Quarter untouched.

You seriously need to stop spraying Aquanet on that polo shirt collar!

If you do tina, you’re addicted. If you disagree, you are the person who needs the most help.

Bitch Boy responds: If you think this is an effective prevention strategy, you need some help yourself.

What’s the sense in believing that the two of us would be together forever. It only took you 5 minutes to gather your things, and half of mine and leave your life behind.

To Bitch Boy: Thanks to you I’m addicted to other people’s pet peeves and issues. It’s great.

Bitch Boy responds: Welcome to my hell, dear reader.

It’s hard not to be bitter toward heterosexuals when a sizeable portion of them dedicate their lives to destroying us and the rest say they’re supportive but frequently do little to stop the others.

I agree with the Democrat who thinks you should date someone you agree with politically. I can’t stand sissy liberals!

Can anyone tell me why there are so many ads in newspapers featuring women’s undies and so few of men’s undies?

Oh that’s nice. Put curse words on a Web site where kids can see it. Ignorant!

Bitch Boy responds: “Curse words”? What is this, third grade? Making the entire Web kid-friendly makes it adult-unfriendly. Parent your kids, but don’t ask us to.

Why do we have the phrase “man-hating lesbian” but don’t have “woman-hating fag”?

To the woman that thinks butches are unreal and fake a man’s energy. All butches are not alike, they are very real, and don’t need to learn anything from you.

Bitch Boy responds: What about “butch-hating lipstick lesbian”? Too wordy?

To the woman who says butches need to get rid of facial hair and pimp walking. Maybe that’s who they really are. Maybe letting go is a form of self-expression.

I don’t want any more friends. I don’t really like the ones I have now.

I’m sick of the self-appointed “political” gays who diss Carson Kressley from “Queer Eye” because he’s too much of a faggy stereotype. He was a nobody who rose to national prominence based on nothing more than who he is. In this way, he’s like Jesus Christ.

If having the ability to read, understand and follow the rules of the sport that I play makes me a “drama bitch,” then I gladly accept that title. All you cheating bitches remember, I’m watching.

To the woman who said her girlfriend doesn’t do anything. Kick her ass out and let me in. I have a ...