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By: CHRIS CRAIN COMMENTS
 
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a taming influence on gay men, an impact many HIV experts have long hoped for. Certainly all the legal wrangling and life-altering impacts of divorce will make many, many lesbian and gay male couples work harder at their relationships before calling it quits.
But the influence will flow in both directions, and no one really knows whether the “alternative” approach many gay couples take toward relationships will impact the institution overall, including how it is viewed by heterosexuals.
It certainly wouldn’t strain the imagination that more than a few hetero husbands will look with more than a little envy at the sexual freedom of their homo husband friends — and then push for similar freedoms with the wife back home. Maybe bringing the topic out into the open is a good thing, and maybe it’s not, but it will have an impact.
The point is we’re entering uncharted territory here, for gay couples and for society generally, and we ought to be thinking and talking more about how to navigate it. With a couple of decades experience under our belt, what elements make lesbian relationships work? What keeps two gay men together for the long haul?
Libraries full of books have been written about how men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and marriage has evolved to accommodate how those two genders interrelate.
What about gay men? Are we from Uranus? Excuse the pun, but you get the point. Do the long-established hetero rules about monogamy and commitment work for us? How about our lesbian sisters?
One thing is certain: With all that on our plate, the last thing our activists ought to be doing is tinkering directly with heterosexual relationships, as they do when they advocate for domestic partnerships for unmarried straight couples, dangling “marriage lite” in front of those who can already marry if they want to.
We have more than enough on our plate as it is, achieving equality for gay relationships, and then figuring out how to make them last — hopefully for a whole lot longer than 55 hours.
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