Dec 09, 2005   | COMMENTS     

I think queers are really gay. Grow up and get with the opposite sex.

Bitch Boy responds: May we be judged by the IQ of our enemies.

Don’t assume because I’m hot I also have a boyfriend. Talk to me.

I just spent the past year in Saudi Arabia. Hot sex is everywhere and all the time. Oppression does have its merits.

With “God” being a matter of hearsay and paranoia, shouldn’t we worry more about “Mother Nature” since we walk all over and pollute her on a daily basis? No wonder “she” is kicking our asses!

Gay men can look quite cute even after they reach 50! I’ve seen some 20-somethings who aren’t supermodels, too.
My partner found me at a lovely dinner party and a year later we sleep snuggled together.

I’m a gay man and the majority of my friends are heterosexual because I find many gay men to be embarrassing, shallow and too into themselves.

Bitch Boy responds: A moment of silence, please, for the loss of this bitter pill from our social functions.

If one more sorry ass queen moves his dumb ass to the suburbs he can find himself a new ho cuz I ain’t travelin out there for booty.

In my day, it did not matter about income, status in society, what gym (if any) you belonged to or where you shopped. What mattered was getting over the fear of being gay.

Bitch Boy responds: The old days sound s-c-a-r-y!

Gay men look really cute when young but turn butt ugly when they get older because they abuse their bodies with excessive drinking, drugs, smoking and non-stop partying with a mindset that life ends after 30.

Age has nothing to do with how sexually active you are. If you were a horndog when you were young, you’ll most likely be one all your life. The young stud eventually becomes the dirty old man.

So how difficult do you kilt-wearing queens find it to piss at the urinal or do you squat down and use the toilet like the ladies?

I date a curvy femme, and I am a butch. Should I now tell my girlfriend that our roles are out of fashion?

To the skinny young flamer: Sorry but you are not a twink if you’re a flamer, darling.

Bitch Boy responds: Actually, Roget’s has them as synonyms.

You’re right, my ass isn’t perfect; but your stomach has more rolls than a bakery!

Oh, you feisty octogenarian who could “pick up a real man and quickly take care of his needs” back in your 40s! It’s so refreshing to learn that gay men had no morals even before they were liberated!

To the pro-war gay man: I don’t oppose the war because I’m gay. I oppose the war because I resent spending millions of dollars and wasting thousands of lives on a war predicated on a lie.

To the many looks and age-fixated men in “Bitch Session” week after week: A positive self-image, personality, intelligence, respect and charm are considerably more attractive in the long run. Looks can get you laid, but the other qualities get you married.

I don’t get why straight guys are afraid of men hitting on them. They don’t complain about heinous looking women hitting on them. You don’t see a gay guy saying, “Oh my God! I can’t go in there, some chick might hit on me!”

A peacock should remain mute. You are hot, young and trendy. Don’t speak! You’ve just turned me off.

I am not gay because I want a queen, a femme, a twink, a pig or a bear. I am not asking you to be straight acting. I am simply asking you to be a man!

What’s up with all the haters hating? Our differences are what make us unique.

Why is it when I say hello to guys, right away they say they have a boyfriend? “Hello” doesn’t mean, “Let’s go fuck.”

People are saying a certain candidate has a wife and kids, so he isn’t gay. Didn’t Jim McGreevey, the New Jersey governor, have a wife and kids?

To the person who bitched about pro-life gays: You make the incorrect assumption that children are part of a straight mother’s body.

As a woman, I was so proud to be saving a damsel in distress — that is, until I found out she was hiding more hair ...