Mar 25, 2005  |  By: YUSEF NAJAFI  | COMMENTS     

If you’ve ever wondered why some gay Virginians leave their friends, family and homes behind in search of a more inclusive place to live, meet Barbara Kenny, 65, and Tibby Middleton, 66.

The women, who have been together 39 years, let their friend Suzanne Moe film their story last summer to shed light on the Marriage Affirmation Act, a relatively new law in Virginia that, in part, prohibits recognition of same-sex marriage licenses from other states. The women moved to Maryland.

“I feel that Barbara and Tibby helped put a face on the law,” Moe says of Kenny and Middleton. “Once you get to know these women, you can put a human dimension on the consequences of [the] law.”

“A Love Story — In the Face of Hate,” starts off laden with emotion, due to the soulful singing of lesbian musician Gaye Adegbalola, a longtime member of Saffire-the Uppity Blues Women. In the 38-minute film, she sings: “They came for the black, they came for the Jew, they came after them, they might come after you.”

Moe, a graphic artist, and Adegbalola have been together for 14 years. Moe directed and produced the documentary, which focuses on two women who met in high school, parted ways and later got together again. Before moving to Maryland, they lived for years in Fredericksburg, Va.

The Welcoming Congregation of the Bull Run Unitarian Universalist Church is scheduled to screen the film at 8 p.m., on Friday, April 1, in the church’s Fellowship Hall, in Manassas, Va. Plans also are underway to show “A Love Story — In the Face of Hate” at All Souls Church, Unitarian in Northwest, D.C., in mid-May.

The film is also available for sale (for $15) at www.sumoe.com.

The couple’s story grabs the viewer, especially with details about how the Virginia law has affected them. For example, Barbara suffered an aneurysm in 2001. They said they feared that if she were to become sick again Tibby would not have as many rights as a heterosexual spouse would to visit her in the hospital or handle other business matters.

The Virginia law, which took effect on July 1, 2004, prohibits recognition of same-sex marriage licenses from other states and also bars any form of contractual agreement between members of the same-sex. Views vary among proponents and opponents of the law about the extent to which it limits the rights of gay couples.

Moe includes commentary in the film from Leila Kilgore, a Fredricksburg attorney who opposes the law and talks in the documentary about how it could affect gay couples’ wills, joint property and bank accounts.

“Virginia is not for lovers,” Kilgore says in the film. “It’s not about love.”

Moe, a 39-year-old native of D.C., and self-described “foreign service kid,” has lived in India, Denmark, and Nigeria.

“I’ve never made a movie before, so it’s not a slick production,” she says. “But the point is that you can use tools that are available to you, and creatively tell a story.”

The lesbian couple depicted in the film first met while attending the same high school in Salt Lake City, Utah. After graduating, they parted ways.

Middleton married a man and became active in her Mormon church and had two children. Kenny, who has an interest in art and drag racing, became a psychotherapist.

While the film lacks some details, such as the names, dates and places of key events, it is appealing to watch the couple interact. Seeing their old photographs and hearing more songs by Adegbalola also make it enjoyable.

One graceful moment occurs when Tibby, a former teacher in Fairfax County, says that upon the two women’s reunion, Barbara asked her if she was happy.

“That’s probably the reason why we are together today,” Tibby says in the film. “Seeing beyond how I [came] across, which is cheerful, I really wasn’t happy.”

Moe says she hopes the film informs, educates and activates viewers. She is working to have the documentary distributed at libraries and on college campuses in Virginia.

“I hope people can open their hearts to see the consequences of oppression,” she says.