HOUSTON
—
Glancing
around
the
cavernous
sanctuary
at
Grace
Community
Church
on
Feb.
19,
where
Focus
on
the
Family
conducted
its
ex-gay
conference,
Brenda
Mendiola
found
herself
studying
the
faces
around
her.
“Some
people
seemed
to
be
really
enthusiastic,”
she
said.
“Others
seemed
to
be
questioning
or
a
little
fearful.”
She
was
there
on
a
mission.
She
and
a
number
of
other
“infiltrators”
were
there
to
hear
what
Focus
on
the
Family
had
to
say
and
to
quietly
offer
an
alternative
view
whenever
possible.
When
she
found
her
opportunity
during
a
break,
she
overheard
a
woman
question
whether
she
should
purchase
a
book
on
transsexuals
for
her
daughter
who
had
recently
come
out
as
a
lesbian.
Mendiola
interjected
that
the
book
would
not
be
appropriate,
since
the
woman’s
daughter
was
a
lesbian
and
not
a
transsexual.
The
woman
wanted
to
know,
“What’s
a
transsexual?”
As
Mendiola
did
her
best
to
explain,
the
woman
began
to
back
away.
She
suddenly
sensed
that
Mendiola
was
one
of
them,
an
infiltrator.
“It
was
hard
to
tell
who
the
infiltrators
were,”
Mendiola
said.
She
had
tried
her
best
to
attend
the
conference
with
an
open
mind,
but
almost
a
week
later,
Mendiola
chokes
up
when
she
relates
some
aspects
of
the
experience.
Still,
she
came
away
with
the
impression
that
although
the
group
put
on
a
well
organized
conference,
“They
took
every
argument
I’ve
ever
heard
and
turned
it
around.”
To
one
presenter’s
statement
that
people
choose
what
to
believe
and
that
it
is
hard
to
change
beliefs,
Mendiola
said,
“That
cuts
both
ways.”
Though
several
presenters
who
spoke
were
deemed
experts
by
Focus
on
the
Family,
she
said,
it
was
the
personal
testimonies
that
seemed
to
have
the
greatest
impact
on
conference
attendees.
Although
Focus
on
the
Family
claimed
800-900
people
attended
the
conference,
Mendiola
said
she
was
careful
to
take
a
head
count.
She
tallied
between
500
and
600.
In
the
end,
she
came
away
with
the
perception
that,
“We
need
to
do
a
better
job
of
reaching
out
to
the
questioning
folks
rather
than
trying
to
convince
the
leaders
of
this
group
to
change
their
views.”
She
said
she
attended
because,
“You
can’t
fight
the
other
side
if
you
don’t
know
what
the
other
side
is
saying.”
Prior
to
the
conference
the
event’s
host,
Mike
Haley,
said
organizers
anticipated
there
would
be
protesters
and
others
who
would
infiltrate
the
event.
“We
welcome
sincere
dialogue
on
these
issues,
but
the
gay
community’s
calls
for
‘tolerance’
also
mean
that
it
must
respect
some
individuals’
personal
desire
to
leave
homosexuality,”
he
said.
“Our
message
is
one
of
hope
for
those
struggling
with
unwanted
homosexuality.”
Melissa
Fryrear,
who
said
she
is
a
former
homosexual
who
is
now
heterosexual,
was
among
the
speakers
at
the
conference.
She
told
those
in
attendance
that
gay
men
and
lesbians
can
turn
straight
if
they
really
want
to
and
that
the
conference
does
not
push
its
agenda
on
people.
Fryrear
added
that
Focus
on
the
Family
and
Exodus
are
involved
in
a
study
to
determine
how
many
gays
have
successfully
changed
their
orientation.
Focus
on
the
Family,
based
in
Colorado
Springs,
Colo.,
and
founded
by
James
C.
Dobson,
is
a
Christian
organization
that
works
to
“preserve
traditional
values
and
the
institution
of
the
family.”
An
alternative
conference
on
the
same
day
in
another
part
of
Houston
offered
another
view
on
homosexuality
and
reparative
therapy.
Jerry
Simoneaux
said
the
Foundation
for
Marriage
Equality
called
its
conference
Love
Won.
We’re
Out!
Presenters
included
psychologist
Jeffrey
Vannice,
who
talked
about
the
dangers
of
reparative
therapy
like
that
offered
by
Exodus,
an
organization
aligned
with
Focus
on
the
Family.
“He
speaks
from
such
a
sense
of
authority,”
Simoneaux
said.
If
there
was
a
theme
to
the
conference,
Simoneaux
said,
it
was
that
while
Focus
on
the
Family
“believes
it
is
what
we
do,
we
know
it
is
what
we
are.”
Although
the
alternative
conference
was
organized
in
a
short
period
of
time,
Simoneaux
said,
it
was
attended
by
62
people.
