REV.
JAMES
DOBSON’S
Focus
on
the
Family
recently
issued
a
“lavender
alert”
for
today,
April
1.
Dobson
called
upon
all
believers
to
boycott
and
protest
all
observances
and
celebrations
of
April
Fools’
Day.
Dobson
stated
emphatically
that
this
unique
day
is
planned,
plotted
and
orchestrated
by
those
pushing
the
gay
agenda
and
therefore
April
Fools’
Day
is
“a
blasphemy
on
our
nation
of
God-fearing,
porno-gobbling
citizens.”
Mr.
Dobson’s
concern
stems
from
the
fact
that
in
Scotland,
April
Fools’
Day
is
a
two-day
celebration,
with
the
second
day
devoted
to
pranks
involving
the
posterior
region
of
the
body.
It
is
called
“Taily
Day”
and
is
the
origin
of
“kick
me”
signs
frequently
used
by
adolescent
pranksters.
“Anything
associated
with
the
posterior
part
of
the
anatomy
smacks
of
the
homosexual
agenda,”
Mr.
Dobson
stated,
licking
his
lips
and
wiping
the
tip
of
his
nose.
“Only
toilet
paper
manufacturers
would
be
interested
in
an
event
like
that.”
Adding,
“Well,
I
guess
the
dildo
lobby
would
endorse
April
Fools’
Day
also.”
WHAT
MR.
DOBSON
didn’t
say
is
that
the
origins
of
April
Fools’
Day
go
back
to
France
in
1582.
Prior
to
that
time,
the
celebration
of
the
New
Year
began
on
March
25
and
lasted
eight
days,
concluding
on
April
1.
But
under
Charles
IX,
the
Gregorian
Calendar
was
introduced
and
New
Year’s
Day
was
moved
to
January
1.
Communication
in
the
1500s
wasn’t
too
swift,
and
so
many
French
citizens
didn’t
learn
of
the
calendar
change
for
several
years.
The
folks
who
were
slow
to
change
to
the
new
calendar
were
considered
backward
and
labeled
“fools”
by
the
general
populace.
They
were
often
the
subject
of
ridicule
and
practical
jokes.
In
today’s
culture,
under
the
guise
of
Focus
on
the
Family,
similarly
equipped
individuals
who
are
slow
to
change
label
Sponge
Bob,
the
Teletubbies
and
the
Simpsons
as
laced
with
lavender.
ACTUALLY
THERE
IS
no
agreement
on
the
origins
of
this
special
day
and
many
cultural
anthropologists
feel
the
roots
of
April
Fools’
Day
can
be
traced
to
rural
Andalusia
and
the
immigrant
Spanish
family
of
Max
del
Fu-el.
The
family
fled
Spain
because
the
local
town’s
people
thought
that,
with
a
name
like
Max,
the
family
had
to
be
Jewish.
The
family
escaped
to
Andalusia
and
then
to
France.
In
France,
Max
and
his
wife
Maria
had
a
son,
Juan,
who
in
young
adulthood
weighed
350
pounds
and
stood
5
feet,
4
inches
tall.
Because
of
his
size,
Juan
was
known
as
Juan
Grosso
Fu-el.
A
decade
later,
again
fleeing
religious
persecution
in
France,
the
clan
went
to
England,
where
their
Spanish
name
was
anglicized
from
Fu-el
to
Fool.
Juan’s
name
thus
changed
from
Juan
Grosso
Fu-el
to
John
Big
Fool.
Despite
his
slight
stature
and
gross
obesity,
John
married
and
his
wife
delivered
a
beautiful
little
daughter
on
the
first
day
of
April.
They
named
the
child
after
the
month
of
her
birth:
April.
In
time,
April
married
Christopher
Day,
the
son
of
a
lesser
English
nobleman,
and
she
thus
became
known
as
April
Fool
Day.
April
desperately
wanted
children,
but
in
the
first
years
of
her
marriage
she
seemed
unable
to
conceive.
After
many
attempts,
she
felt
that,
finally,
the
gods
had
smiled
upon
her
and
that
she
was
pregnant.
Her
girth
began
to
increase
and
neighbors
and
friends
all
anticipated
with
joy
April’s
delivery.
At
the
expected
time,
April
began
to
experience
abdominal
pains
and
cramping,
which
she
interpreted
as
the
start
of
her
labor.
But
when
the
mid-wife
came
to
assist
in
her
delivery,
it
turned
out
that
April
wasn’t
pregnant
at
all.
She
was
just
severely
constipated
and
out
came
a
load
of
you
know
what.
It
was
widely
interpreted
that
April
was
playing
a
joke
on
the
whole
town
and
that’s
how
the
custom
started
of
playing
jokes
on
April
Fool
Day.
But
perhaps
Mark
Twain
put
it
best:
“The
first
of
April
is
the
day
we
remember
what
we
are
the
other
364
days
of
the
year.”
