My
partner
and
I
are
trying
to
add
a
little
spice
to
our
serviceable
but
rather
bland
sex
life.
Any
suggestions?
Just
keep
in
mind
that
we
consider
salt
and
pepper
spices,
so
don’t
be
giving
us
hair-straightening
Tabasco
sauce
suggestions!
Listen,
you’re
talking
to
the
right
guy.
My
idea
of
kinky
is
having
sex
with
a
guy
whose
name
I
remember.
I
called
up
my
friend
Robert
Davolt,
author
of
‘Painfully
Obvious’
and
asked
him
what
lightweights
like
you
and
I
could
do
to
spice
things
up
without
scaring
the
hell
out
of
ourselves.
Listen
to
Robert
—
he
is
to
BDSM
what
Michael
Jackson
is
to
NAMBLA
—
a
recognized
leader.
Here’s
what
he
suggested:
Heat
play.
“A
popular
form
of
administering
pain,”
Robert
said.
Basically,
you
drip
candle
wax
on
certain
body
parts
or
apply
analgesic
heat
creams
that
athletes
use.
A
couple
of
cautions:
Minimize
wax
burns
and
welts
by
pouring
from
further
away
than
you
think
(say,
8-12
inches
from
the
skin).
This
gives
the
wax
more
time
to
cool
before
it
hits
the
skin.
However,
it
does
increase
the
splatter
factor.
Robert
thinks
about
all
the
angles,
that’s
why
I
love
him.
He
also
warns
that
different
colors
and
scents
will
cause
candles
to
melt
at
different
temperatures,
so
test
it
out
on
yourself
first.
Beware
of
using
heat
creams
because
they
could
cause
chemical
burns
or
rashes
if
used
incorrectly
or
if
you’re
unknowingly
allergic
to
them.
Try
a
small
amount
first
and
always
have
a
cool,
wet
rag
handy
to
wipe
away.
Hood
ornaments:
Hoods
provide
a
blank
canvas
for
the
imagination.
Put
it
on
before
the
action
begins
and
you
can
become
another
person.
It
also
heightens
the
mystery
for
your
partner.
If
your
loved
one
can’t
see
your
facial
expressions,
it’ll
leave
them
with
a
tingling
curiosity.
“What’s
he
thinking?”
“What’s
he
feeling?”
One
or
both
partners
can
wear
leather,
rubber
or
spandex
hoods.
Just
make
sure
that
it’s
comfortable
for
a
reasonable
amount
of
time
and
allows
for
unobstructed
breathing.
Some
hoods
restrict
vision
as
well.
Safety
suggestion:
Both
partners
should
be
able
to
breathe
and
at
least
one
partner
should
be
able
to
see
clearly,
if
for
no
other
reason
than
to
suck
off
the
guy
you’re
hooded
partner
doesn’t
know
is
there.
I
read
your
article
on
“Chasing
away
Mr.
Right
for
Mr.
Wrong.”
As
a
psychotherapist,
I
often
work
with
LBGT
clients
struggling
with
this
issue.
Thank
you
for
so
clearly
explaining
what
is
usually
the
real
problem.
The
Buddha
would
be
proud
of
you.
And
thanks
also
for
promoting
therapy
as
a
viable
avenue
for
effective
change.
I’m
curious,
have
you
ever
considered
becoming
a
proper
therapist?
You
must
be
joking.
Me
a
shrink?
The
guy
who
throws
pennies
in
the
wishing
well
hoping
that
nobody’s
wishes
come
true?
The
guy
whose
upbeat
view
of
abortion
is
“Lose
5
pounds
in
5
days?”
I
think
not.
But
you
do
bring
up
a
good
point.
I’m
a
great
believer
in
therapy.
It’s
been
a
tremendous
help
in
various
stages
of
my
life.
As
you
can
see,
it’s
made
me
sweeter
to
my
fellow
man.
But
seriously,
I
credit
therapy
with
accepting
my
own
homosexuality.
I
remember
wanting
to
quit
college
because
I
was
so
unhappy
with
life
because
of
this
sexual
“curse”
I
had
(loving
men).
I
remember
talking
to
my
older
brother
about
quitting
and
though
he
didn’t
know
why
I
was
so
unhappy
he
suggested
I
do
what
he
did
—
go
to
therapy.
I
remember
being
shocked.
Here
was
my
older
brother,
an
athletic
star,
telling
me
he
went
to
therapy!
I
learned
a
valuable
lesson
then:
Sometimes
it
takes
a
“senior”
person
to
give
you
“permission”
to
get
help.
I
took
the
permission
and
my
life
opened
up.
So
as
the
senior
ass
master
of
this
rag,
consider
this
if
you’re
struggling
with
any
issue,
sexual
or
not:
Permission
granted.
