For
two
decades,
Luther
Vandross
sang
the
soundtrack
to
America’s
bedrooms,
but
as
much
as
he
touched
hearts
and
stirred
loins
with
music
about
love
and
loss,
his
own
romantic
life
remained
mostly
a
mystery.
The
black
singer
who
proudly
declared
that
he
would
never
don
a
“blond
wig”
to
achieve
mainstream
fame
among
white
fans,
nonetheless
hid
his
own
love
life
to
placate
his
heterosexual
female
fan
base.
That
kind
of
study
in
contrasts
would
make
for
great
reading,
but
you
wouldn’t
know
it
from
the
obituaries
and
“appreciation”
stories
published
in
the
mainstream
press
after
Vandross
died
on
July
1.
With
rare
exception,
the
straight
press
sidestepped
long-standing
speculation
that
Vandross
the
“lifetime
bachelor”
was,
in
fact,
gay.
The
de-gaying
of
Vandross
is
only
the
latest
example
of
a
long-standing
media
tradition
of
glossing
over
the
personal
life
of
anyone
who
does
not
live
a
publicly
heterosexual
life.
On
the
obituary
page,
at
least,
homosexuality
remains
the
love
that
dare
not
speak
its
name.
WHEN
NOVELIST
SUSAN
Sontag
died
last
December,
the
mainstream
press
published
long
and
lavish
profiles
that
nonetheless
ignored
the
“open
secret”
of
her
bisexual
past
and
long-time
relationship
with
famed
photographer
Annie
Leibowitz.
The
straight-washing
of
gay
artists
continued
in
late
May,
when
filmmaker
Ismail
Merchant
died.
Despite
a
44-year
relationship
with
James
Ivory
that
was
both
professional
and
romantic,
the
mainstream
press
stuck
to
the
heterosexual
storyline.
Does
anyone
doubt
an
epic
romance
that
produced
so
many
film
classics
would
have
been
the
subject
of
fawning
tributes
had
the
couple
been
male-female?
Criticism
from
this
publication
of
the
Merchant
obituaries
proved
too
much
for
Hank
Stuever,
a
usually
funny,
very
gay
entertainment
columnist
at
the
Washington
Post.
Stuever
whined
at
us
“gripey
gay
media
watchdogs”
for
pointing
out
the
glaring
omissions
in
the
Sontag
and
Merchant
posthumous
coverage,
and
he
offered
a
piece
of
parting
advice:
“When
a
gay
(or
gayish)
celebrity
croaks,
call
your
local
obit
desk
…
and
give
the
editors
a
big
ol’
gay
heads
up
to
make
sure
they
know,”
Stuever
wrote,
“especially
if
you
can
point
them
to
any
previously
published
references
by
the
decedent
about
his
or
her
extra-fabulous
time
on
Earth.”
How’s
that?
Stuever
challenges
the
gay
press
to
come
up
with
“previously
published
references
by
the
decedent”
about
being
gay,
as
if
an
obituary
were
merely
a
collection
of
statements
by
the
dead
person
about
their
own
life.
Would
that
famous
people
could
so
completely
control
their
press
coverage!
Of
course,
the
press
regularly
reports
speculation
about
the
private
lives
of
the
famous,
in
life
and
death.
Even
so,
Stuever
ought
to
be
blushing
now.
It
seems
his
own
newspaper
published
an
obituary
of
Vandross
that
reported
—
“eleventyseven”
paragraphs
from
the
lead
—
that
there
were
rumors
not
only
that
Vandross
was
gay,
but
that
he
had
AIDS.
Just
in
case
the
Post
computers
don’t
come
enabled
with
browsers
containing
the
Google
search
engine,
here’s
a
“big
ol’
gay
heads
up”
that
there’s
even
more
out
there
on
whether
Vandross
was
a
homo.
In
Craig
Seymour’s
biography
of
Vandross,
“Luther:
The
Life
&
Longing
of
Luther
Vandross,”
the
author
asks
the
singer
about
the
gay
rumors
but
doesn’t
get
a
straight
answer
(pun
intended).
“You’re
trying
to
zero
in
on
something
that
you
are
never
gonna
get,”
laughed
Vandross.
“Look
at
you,
just
circling
the
airport.
You
ain’t
never
gonna
land.”
Let
it
be
noted
that
in
the
history
of
humanity,
no
straight
man
—
and
certainly
no
straight
African-American
man
—
has
ever
refused
to
say
whether
he’s
straight
or
gay.
Give
the
Post
credit
for
at
least
noting
the
speculation,
one
step
better
than
his
obit
in
the
New
York
Times,
which
waxed
on
in
the
lead
that
Vandross
“spun
romance
into
hits”
but
about
his
own
romantic
life
noted
cryptically,
in
the
article’s
final
sentence:
“Mr.
Vandross
is
survived
by
his
mother.”
But
the
F-minus
goes
to
the
Associated
Press,
which
cheerfully
reported
that
Vandross’
weight
“fluctuated
so
much
that
rumors
swirled
that
he
had
more
serious
health
problems
than
the
hypertension
and
diabetes
caused
by
his
large
frame.”
Can
you
say
“AIDS,”
everyone?
What’s
more,
AP
reported
that
Vandross,
“the
lifelong
bachelor,
never
had
any
children,
but
doted
on
his
nieces
and
nephews.
The
entertainer
said
his
busy
lifestyle
made
marriage
difficult;
besides,
it
wasn’t
what
he
wanted.”
Can
you
say
“gay,”
everyone?
IF
AP
CAN’T
manage
to
say
the
“G
word,”
Answers.com
and
Wikipedia
can.
The
exact
same
information
—
in
the
exact
same
words
—
is
reported
on
that
site
under
a
section
of
Vandross’
bio
titled
“Sexuality”
that
deals
expressly
with
rumors
that
the
singer
was
gay.
Wikipedia
reports
that
Vandross
was
asked
about
being
gay
on
the
BET
show
“Journeys
in
Black,”
and
refused
to
answer
the
question.
Does
any
of
this
“prove”
Vandross
was
...
