Dec 15, 2006  |  By: KATHERINE VOLIN  | COMMENTS     

Maryland and an organizer for Equality Montgomery County, says that even though his employer is located in Virginia, he and his partner made a “conscious decision” not to reside in the Commonwealth.

“We knew that the political and cultural climate would be vastly better for ourselves and for our children in Maryland than in Virginia,” Davenport says. “This is a long-standing tradition of discrimination that they have.”

Given the legal wrangling experienced by gay families in Virginia, Baird recommends that potential gay parents receive legal advice and prepare medical directives if one of the partners will be in the hospital giving birth.

“If you want to make sure that you’re both going to become full legal parents, you’re going to need to plan to spend some time out of the state, I’m afraid,” Baird adds.

COURTNEY ANDREWS, 32, moved with her partner to Virginia from Chicago in 2003. The two then moved to Maryland for a year after Andrews’ partner gave birth to twin boys.

“I wasn’t even going to set foot in the state of Virginia until I had my adoption papers,” Andrews says.

The two moved to California with their sons last year. The move, Andrews says, was partially an escape from Virginia and what they found to be an unwelcoming atmosphere, motivated on the one hand by the somewhat transient nature of the D.C. metro area and on the other by the state’s restrictive laws regarding gay rights.

“It was our experience that people didn’t form lasting connections with people,” Andrews says. “It wasn’t really what we were looking for. Arlington was very progressive and we had a wonderful experience with our pediatrician’s office. At the hospital, everyone was very welcoming. We didn’t have any awkward moments.

“But the state of Virginia is terribly homophobic legally speaking, which doesn’t appeal to me in paying my taxes to a state that doesn’t recognize my relationship and my family.”

Some gay parents don’t have the luxury of packing up and moving — particularly those with children from a previous relationship.

Barbara Wrigley, 52, has two sons, ages 15 and 17, from her marriage to a man. The boys’ father lives in Virginia, 20 minutes away from Wrigley’s home in Alexandria. Although Wrigley’s partner, JoLynne Flores, has been helping raise the boys for the past 12 years, Virginia’s laws mean that Flores has no legal relationship to them.

Should something happen to either Wrigley or her ex-husband, Flores’ right to see the children could disappear.

“If I had the option, I certainly would not live in Virginia even though I grew up here,” Wrigley says. “I love this area, I love Norther