Feb 10, 2006  |  By: GREG MARZULLO  | COMMENTS     

What's a fine upstanding Church-going girl to do about getting a date these days? While you could scope out a potential husband or wife at a weekly service, the ever-faithful internet certainly provides opportunities for people to get together.

One of the newer sites for gay and lesbian Christians is GayHarmony.net. Founded by Justin Cannon in October 2005, the site advertises itself as a spot for people to find a date, friends and Bible-study partners.

The currently free site has over 800 members, 200 of whom are women, hailing mostly from the U.S. but including 12 other countries.

"There really isn't a place for gay Christians to network," says Cannon, a 21 year-old French studies major at Earlham College, a Quaker-based private institution in Richmond, Indiana. "The networks like eHarmony don't let GLBTQ folk on there. Gay.com doesn't tailor itself to a religious community."  

CANNON'S SITE IS an alternate take on eHarmony.com, a large personals site boasting over 8 million members all looking for a soul mate. eHarmony currently does not allow gay and lesbian seekers to be a part of its service. Dr. Neil Clark Warren, an evangelical Christian, created the site in 2000 using years of clinical research as back-up for his methodology in hooking up potential spouses.

In an August 2005 interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air, a weekday radio news magazine that airs on National Public Radio, she questioned Warren about his exclusion of gays and lesbians in his seemingly culturally inclusive dating service.

"I look back on my 38-year career...I've never had a same-sex couple in therapy," said Warren. "We've done a deep amount of research on about 5,000 married people, but never on people who are same sex. We think the principles are different."

Dr. Michael Radkowsky, a clinical psychologist practicing in D.C., disagrees with Warren's claims of difference between gay and straight couples.

"If you want to have a good relationship, you don't do it differently in one or the other case," says Radkowsky, 40 and gay.

Warren, who has ties to the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, told USA Today last year that, since gay marriage is illegal in many states, "we don't really want to participate in something that's illegal."

WHILE MAINSTREAM DATING websites are part of the problem for gay Christians, standard gay dating services may not offer everything a church-goer needs.

"I found it difficult on those sites finding people for whom faith is really central to their lives," Cannon says. "I think it's important for [gay Christians] to have someone who's gone through a similar experience."

Cannon's site is for Christians of every stripe, and glancing through some of the personals shows the wide array of religious backgrounds of the 800 members.

Chris Shogamanesh, a 21 year-old Baltimore community college student, grew up in a Catholic household. He says GayHarmony fills a niche for people who are looking for something other than sex.

"I needed a place to basically try to find someone or some people to be friends with that were on a spiritual level," says Shogamanesh. After trying FriendFinder.com, a broad personals site that includes options for gay men and lesbians, Shogamanesh found that most people were only interested in seeing if he was hot because of his mixed Italian and Iranian descent.

"I'm the type of person that it's not just about image or sex," he says.

Cannon acknowledges that while his site could lead to a physically intimate relationship, the entire premise is focused on providing an opportunity for gay Christians to meet on the same level with one another.

Reverend doctor Candace R. Shultis, the pastor at D.C.'s Metropolitan Community Church for the past 11 years, says that talking about issues of faith is very important for potential long-term couples.

"When you meet someone and start to seriously date, discuss all kinds of issues," she says. "How deep is your faith? What's your religious background?"

Cannon's religious background was fraught with struggle. After confronting depression and suicide throughout his teens, he finally acknowledged to himself that he's gay. 

Cannon says the response about GayHarmony has been overwhelming.

"I've had people e-mail me and say 'It's about time,'" he says. "I'm averaging about 200 members per month. Hopefully, that will keep getting larger."