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By: NANCY FORD COMMENTS
 
IT’S ALL OVER except for vacuuming and rolling up the red carpet ‘til next year.
Oscar’s 78th outing, touted as the year Hollywood went gay, disappointed many when "Brokeback Mountain" lost the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences’ Best Picture honor to "Crash," a movie examining race relations and liability insurance.
But three wins out of eight nominations isn’t bad, is it?
I wasn’t one of those good queers who ran out to see "Brokeback Mountain" the first week it was released. I figured if I wanted to see hot man-on-man action in the great outdoors, I’d just drive through the city park and save the eight bucks.
I finally saw the film at a matinee screening just a couple weeks ago. That afternoon there were about 100 people in the audience—mostly parties of three or four women in their 50s and 60s—kind of Golden-Girly.
Nothing faggy about that, which should be a comfort to those straight folk who refuse to see "Brokeback Mountain" because they don’t want to sit in a dark theater filled with homos.
Those nervous non-Nellys needn’t worry. The uber-straight Willie Nelson himself performs the closing song, called "He Was a Friend of Mine." And there’s nothing queer about Willie Nelson, except for maybe those pigtails.
But maybe that’s why the picture won the honor of Best Original Score instead of Best Song. Music about two men in love is much more likely to win an Oscar when it has no lyrics.
OVERALL, "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN" is a pretty good movie, I thought. It’s no "Finding Nemo," but I liked it. The winner of the Academy’s Best Adapted Screenplay honor provides lots of great lines that queers will adopt as cultural mantras, and not just, "I wish I could quit you."
There’s "If you can’t fix it, you’ve got to stand it." My favorite line is when Ennis tells Jack, "You may be a sinner, but I ain’t had the opportunity." And then Jack gives him the opportunity.
But the very first line of the movie clues us in to what we should expect in the coming two hours. In just one speech, Randy Quaid’s ranch owner character refers to Ennis and Jack’s asses as being both "scrawny" yet "tender" and then tells them to go pitch a tent.
If that isn’t a prelude to a gay kiss, I don’t know what is.
Bottom line, "Brokeback Mountain," or, as some call it, "Gay & Gayerer," serves its purpose, which is, literally, the bottom line. Gay and straight audiences are still flocking to see it, and not just in the more culturally tolerant blue states. Nationwide, it’s already grossed almost $80 million since its Dec. 9 opening.
Multiple awards, including BAFTAs (the British Oscars), Golden Globes, Writers Guild of America, Producers Guild of America and Los Angeles Film Critics Association honors preceded "Brokeback Mountain’s" eight Oscar nominations, cementing its reputation as a solid artistic contender despite the Best Picture snub.
ASKING AROUND, I’VE learned that lesbians as a group are perhaps not quite as moved by the movie as our gay guy friends. Maybe that’s because we got our cinematic back broke, so to speak, back in 1985.
That film was called "Desert Hearts." It, too, was a same-sex love story; it, too, featured western wear and lots of whiskey. No bears, though.
Coincidentally, I saw "Brokeback Mountain" in the very same theatre where I’d seen Desert Hearts. Now will someone please explain to me why, today, more than 20 years later, a same-sex love story is still a shocking and novel idea?
All in all, "Brokeback Mountain" is far more than just "Same Time, Next Year" with sheep. It is a lesson for everybody: gay, straight, male and female.
It teaches that when you find yourself lucky enough to find love—real love—you better grab it by the horns, drag it down, tie it up and sit on it ‘til it quits squirming.
Carpe Amore. Seize the love. Exalt it from the rooftops. Don’t squander it.
Otherwise, one day you may find yourself alone and empty, emotionally broke, back mountin’ every pretty little thing with a pulse. And that, my friends, is the true lesson of "Brokeback Mountain": Seize the love.
Well, that, and if you’re gay, stay out of Wyoming.
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