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| James McGreevey made history in 2004 when he announced that he was ‘a gay American,’ and recently ignited a new media frenzy with the release of his memoir, ‘The Confession.’ (Photo by Jennifer Graylock/AP) |
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McGreevey on politics, bonding with other gays, and his ‘greatest blessing’
Washington Blade: How much of politics is a popularity contest, and what was it like being popular enough to be governor of New Jersey, and yet know that the people who supported you didn’t really support you because they didn’t know you?
James McGreevey: Much of politics is about shaping image, crafting image and, today, politics is about massaging a message and hoping people respond to the message. There can be an incredible lack of authenticity and honesty.
The compromises I made while pretending to be straight actually helped me understand and develop a skill set in politics — the world of perception. Not truth or realities, but trying to develop a perception of how we want to be seen as opposed to how we are.
Blade: You write about you and your advisers developing several strategies to try to prevent [your former male lover] Golan Cipel from going public — if any of those strategies had worked, would you have come out as gay?
McGreevey: No. I had sort of accepted the messages of shame that I had been given and internalized the messages. But for Golan, which ironically was the greatest blessing because he forced me to walk through the pain, he coerced me into confronting my truth.
I was just reacting to fear. Every step of my life, when you hear homophobia, or see the lack of elected officials who are openly gay, all of those messages, to me, pointed to the need to stay in the closet, and frankly, I took the coward’s way.
As my grandmother would say, God works in mysterious ways. It’s been a great blessing, it’s been the most painful, ugliest moment of my life, but also the greatest moment of grace and self acceptance.
Blade: In the midst of the storm before you came out, you write about a couple of touching moments you had with [openly gay chief of staff] Jamie Fox and Curtis Bashaw [an openly gay Republican booster]. What was it like connecting with other gay men like that for the first time?
McGreevey: I was drawn to them. I kept them in close proximity, perhaps because they were openly gay, they had a great sense of acceptance and love and life and family and friends in their life.
Before coming out with Curtis, I was at his house with his partner, Will, and he was surrounded by family and friends, gay and straight, and it just was love, acceptance and diversity and a great sense of just, almost wonder, and I looked at that achingly and said that’s what I want.
As an openly gay man, [Fox] gave me so much spiritual support, so much support and strength to my ability to walk through the wall of fear and break through to self-acceptance and to proudly being gay.
Blade: You talk about how if you were openly gay earlier, you wouldn’t have been governor. Is there anything in your episode that will change that reality so young gay people don’t think the only way they can make it to the top is by hiding who they are?
McGreevey: I think my generation, my age group — hopefully it will be the last generation that has to choose between matters of the heart and a professional career. For me, what was so negative and destructive was my own inability to confront my truth and accept it in a peaceful way.
My only advice, and I don’t take the position of giving advice, is being who you are and stating that, and moving into other aspects of your life career and interests.
Blade: What about people who doubt your book, “The Confession,” is a full confession since, while it contains many details about your sexual liaisons, it glosses over issues like [convicted campaign contributor] Charlie Kushner and other ethical lapses in your administration?
McGreevey: There were individual fundraisers who had legal problems. No member of my cabinet or administration were ever confronted or subjected to indictment or conviction, but there were fundraisers who were. This was a personal agony, a personal journey.
Blade: Can you talk about your religion and how it’s been reconciled or enhanced throughout the past two years?
McGreevey: My spirituality has been enhanced tremendously and I have pushed to rediscover the importance of God in my life as a central pillar and foundation, and everyday now I pray and sort of align myself and work to align myself spiritually. I love the Catholic Church and its traditions, but today I’m a practicing Episcopalian and go to … a diverse, open congregation, which embraces the LGBT community.
I have great friends that are gay priests or gay devout Catholics, but it’s difficult for me now because of the church’s formal doctrinal position … I just find that I’m unable to sit in a pew to listen to messages about homosexuality that is anything less than loving, that is anything less than godly.
Blade: Do you consider yourself to be a gay activist now?
McGreevey: I don’t presume to be a gay activist, but I want to be actively engaged in gay rights, and to do whatever I can in any appropriate way to lift up the voice of gay advocacy and gay rights. It’s so important.
It’s been interesting — I went from being governor, as an Irish Catholic, outwardly straight male, to now a gay man, and watched how you just tumble in terms of not only the political food chain, but my rights as an American. So that contrast is personally so apparent.
There are people in the gay rights community that have been leading the charge in the last decade or 25 years and we’ve been blessed to make such incredible strides. I’m very hopeful, very optimistic and I think the people and public are way out in front of their representatives.
Interview by Ryan Lee
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HOME > NEWS > NATIONAL NEWS
By: RYAN LEE COMMENTS
 
Rarely has political theater felt as dramatic as on Aug. 12, 2004, when James and Dina McGreevey stood behind a glass podium that bore the state seal of New Jersey, and for the first time in the nation’s history a sitting governor said, “My truth is that I am a gay American.”
James McGreevey’s stunning departure from the closet drew immediate support from national gay rights groups, but also left many people — gay and straight — wondering whether McGreevey cloaked himself in a gay identity to distract attention from a governorship beleaguered by allegations of shady campaign contributors and ethical lapses within his administration.
McGreevey, a Democrat, shies away from being considered a gay hero, but insists that his biggest transgression during his two-and-a-half years as governor was deceiving himself, his family and the residents of New Jersey about who he truly was.
“I consider myself the anti-hero, the anti-role model,” McGreevey told the Blade. “For me, [coming out] was a matter of necessity, and it would have been a far healthier, more balanced existence had I come out as a youth.”
On the same day as McGreevey’s bombshell announcement, National Gay & Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman issued a statement heralding McGreevey for having “a great deal of courage to be so honest and straightforward.”
“Many of us who spent time in the closet know how profoundly damaging that experience is, and on a very personal level my heart went out to him,” Foreman said in an interview this week. “I’ve had the privilege of meeting Gov. McGreevey on several occasions since then, and it’s only made me feel more strongly about our initial statement.”
But not all gay commentators have been as sympathetic.
“I’m really just hoping McGreevey goes away,” wrote Bruce Carroll on his “Gay Patriot” blog. “He doesn’t serve our community well and now he’s just using us [again] to [hawk] his memoirs.”
Criticism ‘hypocritical’?
The gay blogosphere has been particularly unforgiving of McGreevey, who put his gay lover on the New Jersey payroll and admitted cheating on his second wife shortly after she delivered the couple’s first daughter.
“As a gay man who spent many years in the closet, I can say with confidence that cheating on your hospitalized wife in her home with an employee is not a manifestation of the closet — it’s the behavior of a corrupt and immoral human being, straight or gay,” wrote Richard Rothstein, of “Proceed at Your Own Risk.”
New York Daily News writer Greg Hernandez doubted that McGreevey was truly being “authentic” while promoting his supposed tell-all book, “The Confession.”
“Would he be so ‘authentic’ now if his former lover … [had] not threatened to file a sexual harassment suit against the then-governor?” Hernandez wrote on his “Out in Hollywood” blog.
But Foreman believes gay people who are quick to criticize McGreevey are likely forgetting some of their own experiences before they were fully honest about who they are.
“The closet warps people, and I challenge anyone who’s been in the closet to say they haven’t hurt, or deceived someone, or let someone down because they were terrified about coming out — that’s what the closet does,” Foreman said. “I think it’s completely hypocritical for our movement to say we want people to be out, and then when they do come out, not to embrace them.”
Both Foreman and Joe Solmonese, the Human Rights Campaign executive director, are listed in the acknowledgements section of McGreevey’s memoir.
In the book, McGreevey gives scant attention to his hallmark line — ”I’m a gay American,” which he said was inspired by his New Jersey upbringing.
“[New Jersey is] just a wonderful rich mix of ethnicity and race, but we’re all American,” McGreevey said. “This was the first time I was embracing my tribe, my identity proudly as being gay, but also a part of a larger nation.”
However, shortly after McGreevey came out, representatives of the Human Rights Campaign said that they recommended McGreevey use the “gay American” phrasing. The national gay rights group took credit for coining the phrase in the early 1990s, after focus groups suggested it conveyed a sense of unity, as opposed to a sense of “otherness.”
This week, McGreevey expressed profound gratitude for HRC assistance over the past two years, but insisted the line was included in his speech before his staff reached out to them for assistance.
HRC officials declined comment for this article.
Recognizing McGreevey’s personal and political shortcomings doesn’t diminish the lessons that can be learned from his coming out, said Denis Dison, vice president for communications at the Gay & Lesbian ...
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