Jan 05, 2007   | COMMENTS     

Fans of bad taste, have no fear! The gods ruling the pornographic industry would never abandon the likes of you!

For those Dish readers wondering just when the gay porn lords would release a bondage film paying nominal homage to the Guantanamo Bay detainment camp, your breath-holding days are over.

Yes, according to gay porn stalwart GayPornBlog.com, Violator, who just signed with Dark Alley, will star in the upcoming film, “Gaytanamo.”

The film does, as expected, use a little creative licensing to distinguish it from military holding camps for would-be terrorists. “Gaytanamo” tells the story of a German tourist who “suffers” by the hand of Violator.

Dark Alley announced the acquisition of Violator in a press release posted on its web site.

“I was instantly attracted to his model application where he stated he was only into [fisting] and assplay,” said Owen Hawk, casting director for Dark Alley, in a statement on the press release. “A lot of companies would have turned up their nose at that and said ‘No thanks,’ but for us that was a perfect thing.”

None of that bourgeoisie elitism at Dark Alley. They’re too busy fisting their way out of the Geneva Convention.

Every Rose has its Trump

ROSIE O’DONNELL, following years of relative silence after a whole career of botches (“Taboo,” anyone?), has suddenly taken on the new role of Most Dished About Lesbian.

Dish loves it! Suddenly, when she’s not busy making racist remarks, O’Donnell is fully occupied starting feuds. There was her notorious feud with CHARLTON HESTON back in the days of her own talk show, but this year on ABC’s “The View,” O’Donnell’s been going after the big guns: first KELLY RIPA and then DONALD TRUMP.

O’Donnell started the tiff when she pointed out the delicious irony of Trump calling anyone’s morals into question, which he did a few weeks ago regarding Miss U.S.A.’s underage drinking, partying and alleged lesbian kisses.

After trashing Trump as a “snake-oil salesman,” O’Donnell felt the sting of the money man’s rebuttal, which included a threat of using men to woo away Kelli Carpenter, O’Donnell’s partner, according to People magazine.

Dish doesn’t usually pick sides, but she doesn’t appreciate Trump’s implication that sexual orientation is subject to change based upon not the sex, but the sexual attractiveness of a partner. Turns out O’Donnell didn’t like it either, and she left some pretty poetry on her site, in which she compares Trump to a pimp.

Trump was reduced to fighting back in the New York Post, in which he called O’Donnell a “mental midget, a low-life,” and a “degenerate” with a “death wish.”

Dish smells a threatened white man.

Penelope’s tease

Latina dream girl PENELOPE CRUZ, who is occasionally cited by the hopeful as a potential lesbian, admits to stoking the fires of sexual orientation rumors in Australia’s Courier Mail newspaper.

Most of the said rumors started swirling a few years ago at a news conference when she grabbed friend and co-star SALMA HAYEK’S rump while promoting “Bandidas.”

“I grabbed Salma’s ass just to keep things moving, because everyone was a little slow,” Cruz said. “And, of course, the energy changed when I did that.”

Not a breath of denial from either woman’s camp, by the way.