Oct 05, 2007  |  By: ELIZABETH PERRY  | COMMENTS     

Affirmation, a gay Mormon group, is celebrating its 30th anniversary in Washington with a national conference this weekend, ministering to members and former members of a church that, like many, is divided between religious identity and the acceptance of homosexuality.

Gay Mormons have faced a range of adversities, from excommunication and estrangement from families to reparative therapy and even shock treatments.

Andrew Evans, an Affirmation member who plans to attend this weekend’s conference, said being Mormon is as much an institutional faith as a cultural identity that, in his case, goes back seven generations.

“In some ways, being Mormon is a lot like being Jewish,” he said. “It is your heritage, your cultural identity, your world view, your family and all your closest relationships.”

He grew up doing all the “right” Mormon things as an Eagle Scout, a Brigham Young University student and a missionary. He said he knew for a long time he was gay, but didn’t accept it until he realized he would never be able to marry a woman. When the school threatened to expel him and take away the credits he earned, Evans said he agreed to undergo reparative therapy.

“Although my therapy was relatively harmless, the university was still conducting shock therapy on other gay students at the very same time,” he said. “I remained closeted until grad school, when I met my partner.”

He said he came out to his parents and felt alienated from his family and church. Eventually he was excommunicated. Church leaders gave him the option of leaving his partner and saying he had “fallen into temptation and was trying to change.” He chose to stay with his partner and said that while his relationship with his parents has improved, he is still estranged from a few of his eight siblings.

He said a highly centralized body of leaders with a narrow sacred doctrine runs the church. The challenge for gays, Evans said, comes when the official voice of the church conflicts with the personal experience of its members.

“Faithful members will not dare contradict official doctrine,” he said. “Yet with homosexuality, so many members have had experiences that fall outside the church’s official statements. This causes a kind of psychological, emotional and spiritual turmoil that few outsiders can comprehend.”

Dave Melson, chair of the Affirmation conference, said the group’s membership of about 1,200 runs the gamut from those who are still active in the church to those who have been excommunicated or choose not to have anything to do with it. Melson estimates the conference will draw about 160 members from across the United States, Canada and Europe. Members in South America will watch via web cast.

The conference will take place Oct. 5-7 at the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill. Melson said the Columbus Day weekend dates are no coincidence, because they fall during the same weekend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is holding its conference in Salt Lake City, Utah.

“It’s an opportunity for fellowship and education for our members,” he said. “It also provides a way to be updated on news and the political situation. Being prominent and open puts pressure on the leadership.”

The conference will include a keynote address by Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay man to be ordained a bishop in the Episcopal Church. Other speakers will include authors Carol Lynn Pearson, Jonathan Rauch, Buck Jeppson and representatives from Human Rights Campaign, National Gay & Lesbian Task Force and Equality Maryland. Other speakers will include Sgt. Brett Parson, a gay officer with D.C. Metro Police, and Lisa Polyak and Gita Deane, a lesbian couple who lost a lawsuit against Maryland when they sued for the right to wed. The weekend will include performances by the D.C. Cowboys and a performance of Steve Fales’ new play, “Mormon American Princess.”

Affirmation formed in Salt Lake City in 1977 and provides support for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people who are having difficulty reconciling their sexual orientation and their faith. It also educates church members and leaders and provides a forum for the discussion of gay issues. The Washington chapter has been around since 1982, with approximately 25 active members. The group meets the fourth Sunday of the month in a private home.

Sam Wolfe was excommunicated from the church after speaking in front of his congregation in June 2006. He said outsiders are often surprised by how much progress still needs to be made in the church by its leaders. He said church leaders backed themselves into a corner when ...