Jul 06, 2007  | COMMENTS     

Secretary of State CONDOLEEZZA RICE might not be a lesbian, and no one is more depressed about this than Dish.

Not that Dish really expected that Rice would be. But the Advocate did an interview with Marcus Mabry, who quite literally wrote the book that might as well have been called “Is Condi a Lezzie?” Well, the actual title is “Twice as Good: Condoleezza Rice and Her Path to Power,” but Dish can read between the lines.

“The lesbian rumors have been out there for a long time,” Mabry told reporter Matthew Link. “In my reporting of this book for two years, at every turn I encountered someone telling me, ‘You know she’s a lesbian, right?’ — colleagues at Stanford, colleagues in Washington, fellow professors around the country. That she told so-and-so she was gay, or she went out with this woman or that woman. And I would trace each of the rumors back and report them out, and they would never go anywhere. I never even came close to finding a female lover.”

The book does reveal Rice’s apparent weakness for athletic men, according to the New York Times, although after she graduated from college, the trail of her romantic liaisons runs cold.

Mabry did say that Rice’s best friend is a gay man, which seems to nearly prove that she’s a straight woman. But people are always scared of women who have power and no man, as Mabry points out.

“Oftentimes, people think a single, strong powerful woman must be a lesbian,” he said to the Advocate. “There’s a certain homophobia implicit in that assumption.”

And sexism, Dish adds with her hand raised.

Jackson’s beach house

MICHAEL JACKSON might be moving to the Eastern Shore of Maryland or somewhere along Delaware’s lovely beach area (did Dish just hear someone squeal “Rehomo?”), and people generally couldn’t care less.

The Baltimore Sun reported that Jackson, who recently left the Las Vegas mansion he’d been renting, was looking at waterfront estates in St. Michaels, Md. Other rumors swirled that he’d been scoping out sites in Lewes and Rehoboth, too.

“You’d think a guy like that is going to stick pretty much to himself,” Sharon Crawford, a gift store manager in St. Michaels, told the Sun. “My God, we’ve got the vice president here.”

That’s all fine and good for Maryland, but what about the classic gay enclave and summer retreat of Rehoboth Beach? There goes the neighborhood.

No men allowed

TYRESE is making homophobic headlines again. The former model and would-be actor and singer
apparently joked about his plans to ban men from his “Shirts Off Tour” with Ginwuine and Tank.

“We’re putting a ban on all dudes from coming to the show,” he joked to Billboard backstage at the 2007 Bet Awards. It’s obviously a joke, as Tyrese doesn’t exactly have music fans to spare.

Unfortunately, that joke danced its way into reality on the Internet, and it’s best not to upset the gays, let’s just say that. The blogosphere had a field day with his comments, including the fatuous PEREZ HILTON, who called for revolution.

“We’d like to call on all concert promoters and venues to ban Tyrese!!!”

Strangely, Hilton has a picture of the singer with “I [heart sign] cock” scribbled onto it, implying that finding men’s anatomy alluring is some kind of ironic punishment for his homophobia. Dish finds this rather odd.

Tyrese’s newest affront can be lumped in with having allegedly mocked a male fan who caught Tyrese’s sweaty towel after he threw it into the audience during a concert last fall.

If the men can’t go to this new tour, Dish is hoping the MtF crowd will show up in droves just to mess with Tyrese’s sad little brain.