Revs. John Manwell and Phyllis Hubbell of Baltimore’s First Unitarian Church, singing at a dedication service in which they placed a same-sex marriage banner on the lawn of their church, in February. (Photo courtesy of First Unitarian Church of Baltimore)
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ELIZABETH PERRY
Friday, September 28, 2007
When the Maryland Court of Appeals announced its decision to uphold a ban on same-sex marriages last week, straight allies also felt its impact, especially the husband-and-wife ministers of a Baltimore church.
“It was devastating,” said Rev. Phyllis Hubbell. “We expected something from this liberal court, that they would say to the legislature, ‘Go back and look at this.’”
Hubbell, 63, and her husband, Rev. John Manwell, 76, have been co-pastors of First Unitarian Church of Baltimore for 13 years. Both are former lawyers who found second careers in the Unitarian Universalist Church. They met at All Souls Unitarian church, served on the same committees and wed in 1992.
Hubbell said she hoped the court would decide in favor of same-sex marriage, but knew it would most likely end up going through the legislature.
“Some people are having a hard time understanding the difference between religious and civil marriage,” she said. “Even if we won the decision, the word ‘marriage’ would be troublesome for some of our legislators. Nothing will force the Roman Catholic Church to marry same-gender couples because it’s against our Constitution.”
Manwell said when they were in seminary, he and Hubbell never expected to be involved the struggle for gay marriage.
“We began thinking about it in the seminary, when we got to know gays and lesbians,” he said. “We came to Baltimore 13 years ago and found a vibrant gay and lesbian community. There were also some gay and lesbian couples in the congregation. We said we welcomed them. They met with us and said, ‘Do you really mean it?’”
Manwell and Hubbell have performed commitment ceremonies for approximately 60 same-sex couples since they came to the church. As they got to know their gay parishioners, the pastors also supported their struggle for marriage rights. Manwell said one of the most painful incidents he recalls involved a gay couple whose ceremony he officiated in 1999. One of the partners was disowned by his family and kicked out of his home when he came out as a teen. Manwell performed the memorial service for the man after he contracted AIDS and died in 2000.
“The family, who he had no contact with since he was a teenager, sued for his house and forced the other partner into bankruptcy,” Manwell said.
Hubbell said some of the gay couples they know have been together for years and are as committed to each other as the heterosexual couples they’ve married.
“They have raised families, loved their children and their spouses and faced obstacles,” she said. “We have three couples who moved here from Virginia because their rights were threatened. Now they are in Maryland, where their rights are still threatened.”
Dan Furmansky, executive director of Equality Maryland, said straight allies are an integral part of the gay rights movement.
“There are straight allies on our board and employed by our organization,” he said. “This is a social justice and civil rights movement that is far greater than just gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people. It should concern everybody who is interested in living in a free and just society.”
Del. Todd Schuler (D-Baltimore County), who’s straight, said he plans to co-sponsor a civil marriage bill when it is introduced in the House of Delegates. He said he thinks about his wife and how he would feel if she were in an accident and he could not make decisions about her care.
“I don’t know what I would do,” he said. “If they extend marriage rights to anyone, they should extend them to everyone. Churches don’t have any right to tell the state who they can and cannot marry, any more than the state has the right to tell anyone who they can and cannot marry.”
Lea Gilmore, a straight ally who works as a consultant for Equality Maryland, said she believes marriage equality is “one of the social movements of our time.”
She said straight allies have been on the frontlines of the fight, from civil rights leaders such as former Maryland NAACP President Elbridge James, to the family members and friends of gay people.
“We are there not only in spirit, but we are there writing letters, sending in our donations and unfailingly committed to doing the right thing,” she said.
Hubbell and Manwell were around during the civil rights era of the 1960s but have regretted never getting to Selma, Ala., where pivotal marches were held. She said the marriage equality fight is their opportunity to work for justice.
“This is a second chance to be involved in a piece of it that matters,” she said.
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