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IN MANY WAYS, I lead a very traditional life. In fact, in most ways I do. Like many moms all across America, I just said goodbye to our 12-year-olds as they headed off to school. Even the lunch was traditional — peanut butter and jelly. I finished lunches and then did what most stay-at-home parents were doing at 7:45 this morning — yelled at the kids to hurry up. The kids were late this morning. Ben woke up and, for the first time in 12 years, decided to care what his hair looked like. Typical and traditional, but for me, it’s so much more than that. It all feels so warm, cozy and comfortable.
Then I remind myself that I am a second-class citizen. I’m not quite like all the other parents who waved goodbye to their kids this morning. I can’t forget that.
Nor can I take the warm, cozy and comfortable life I have for granted. And I don’t mean that in some paranoid way. We always need to be reminded of what we are up against.
So in that spirit, I’d like to suggest that each of you to do a little homework.
TAKE A FEW minutes and have a look at some web sites. I don’t feel great about driving traffic to some of these sites but I feel there is some upside, so here goes.
Google the word “family.” The No. 1 entry is www.family.org. Think about that for a minute. The No. 1 entry when you Google “family” belongs to James Dobson. He is well funded, has access to extraordinary media platforms and raises millions of dollars instilling fear about gay Americans into his army of followers.
I perused that site and stumbled upon a piece offering advice to parents whose son or daughter has just come out to them. It starts out quite nicely and it isn’t until the end that the true colors come shining through.
According to the site, parents have to be willing to do several things: educate themselves on the issue of homosexuality confess any ways they may have inadvertently wounded their child find trusting others in whom they can confide and share realize it may take years for their child to repent of homosexuality and release their child into the good care of God.
“When we let go of our loved ones,” the site says, “we stop taking responsibility for them. But we don’t stop fulfilling our responsibilities to them.”
Ridiculous, right? Wrong. Would you like to know how many millions of Americans hang on James Dobson’s every word? Millions and millions.
NOW LET’S TAKE a look at the Traditional Values Coalition (www.traditionalvalues.org). Andrea Lafferty (I wonder if she made lunch for her kids this morning) is the executive director and is one of the stable of anti-gay spokespeople sought out by national media. Here is her take on the upcoming vote on ENDA:
“Democrats have a serious problem with this legislation and that is why they are hiding the truth about what ENDA will do. They know that ENDA will give drag queens, cross-dressers, she-males, etc., the same protected status in American law as African Americans or other legitimate minority groups. Yet, they kept these individuals hidden from view at a recent hearing on ENDA.”
Next time you find yourself wondering how a bill as benign as ENDA has not been passed, visit any one of these sites and know that the talking points you find there are being widely disseminated by well-funded organizations.
I repeat: I am not a paranoid personality. I like to be well informed. I’ll take that a step further: I believe I have an obligation to be informed.
But visiting these sites does more than inform me. It reminds me that I can’t take what I have for granted. And perhaps most importantly, the impact of these words is sobering. It makes me want to do something. Like writing this article for example.
I can’t always get my kids to do their homework so I know I have limited influence over those of you reading. But unlike some of my kids’ assignments, this is not busy work.
But maybe it will get you busy.
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