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Kevin McGarry adopted his sons, Andy, 9, (left) and Vincent, 6, as a single parent. (Photo courtesy of McGarry)
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HOME > ENTERTAINMENT > FEATURE
By: KATHERINE VOLIN COMMENTS
 
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adopt her partner’s biological child Sarah, who is now 17, marked the first second-parent adoption in the state of New Jersey when it happened in 1993. The pair also has a set of twins, Kit and Ben, 12.
Sending Sarah off to kindergarten caused the usual trauma.
Jennifer Chrisler (left) and partner Cheryl Jacques, former head of HRC, accompany their twin sons to an Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. Chrisler says it's important for gay parents to come out to their children's teachers. (Photo by Ron Edmonds/AP)
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“We were big wrecks, just like the straight parents dropping their kids off at school [but] instead of one female wreck, there were two female wrecks,” Garry says. “We had the good fortune of being able to settle in a town that had a reputation for being welcoming and diverse. The other thing … is we also kind of made a decision that I, as the non-biological mom, would take more of a primary role so that … in some ways I became the grown-up face of the family. That actually helps kind of create a balance for the school.”
Garry joined the school board and volunteered her time to show that even though her partner gave birth to the children, they were equal parents to them.
“Truthfully, at school, as with everything else as it related to LGBT people, it’s all about knowing us and seeing us — making yourself visible and making a contribution [by saying things like] ‘Gee, I’ll drive on one of the field trips,’” Garry says.
The goal, Garry and other parents say, is to be perceived as a family by the school, students and other parents.
“LGBT parents should remember how much they have in common with the other members of the PTA,” Garry says.
The burden is still tilted to the heavy end for gay parents, but that’s part of the gig, Chrisler says.
“It may be really unfair and it is, but at the end of the day, our No. 1 job is to clear the way for our child so they don’t have to do the work for us.”
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