Nov 21, 2008  |  By: KEVIN NAFF  | COMMENTS     

AS WANDA SYKES put it last weekend in her coming out remarks, “They pissed off the wrong people.”

Average citizens, many of them straight, are reacting with disbelief and anger following California’s passage of Proposition 8 — and the Arkansas adoption ban and same-sex marriage bans in Florida and Arizona.

In the absence of an identifiable national gay rights leader, everyday people stepped into the leadership vacuum and produced marches in hundreds of places large and small on Saturday. An estimated 5,000 took to the National Mall in D.C. to demonstrate against the anti-gay ballot initiatives that passed on Election Day.

But the demonstrations are about more than a few specific laws. Average Americans are finally beginning to understand that GLBT people lack equality under the law and they’re angry about it. Prop 8, in particular, has focused attention on that inequality and galvanized and transformed previously apathetic observers into angry marchers.

What’s more remarkable is that last weekend’s protests in cities across the country were loosely organized via the web and sites like Jointheimpact.com and Facebook. The largest gay rights groups were mostly on the sidelines, though they helped promote the marches after it became clear people needed an outlet for their anger.

Many gay bloggers and commentators have described these events as the next great chapter in gay rights activism after years of trying to work the system from the inside. But there’s room — and need — for both approaches. As too many gay people, perhaps burned out from fighting government apathy over AIDS, took a checkbook approach to activism from the late ’90s to today, we forgot about the need for mass visibility. Sorry, but a few token gay characters on TV sitcoms and an out lesbian talk show host don’t cut it.

The opening of the film “Milk” next week is a reminder that Harvey Milk’s pleas for gay Americans to come out still go unheeded by many. Thirty years later, we’re still fighting (and losing) anti-gay initiatives at the ballot box and still suffering from a dearth of openly gay public figures. Wanda Sykes deserves our gratitude for coming out last weekend at a Las Vegas protest, but her voice would have meant more in the weeks before Nov. 4. Few even knew she was married until Saturday. And too many fellow celebrities remain closeted, from Queen Latifah to Anderson Cooper. Their silence helps reinforce the destructive message that homosexuality is shameful.

THE BIG QUESTION, of course, is where do all those marchers and their justifiable anger go from here? For too long, we’ve been told to be patient. The excitement over Bill Clinton’s 1992 victory was followed by crushing disappointments that included “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and the Defense of Marriage Act. Then came George W. Bush and gay rights advocates were on the defensive; we were told not to expect any progress on our issues. When the Democrats took Congress in 2006, expectations were tamped down because, of course, Bush was still in the White House. Instead of confronting the “compassionate conservative” with a non-discrimination bill to sign or veto, we waged a divisive fight over trans inclusion in ENDA. And now, even with Barack Obama’s historic win and larger Democratic majorities in both houses of Congress, the expectations management has begun.

Sources on the Hill and within the gay rights movement have told us not to expect great strides right away, but smaller wins, like the hate crimes bill and maybe domestic partner benefits for federal employees. Meanwhile, our so-called allies in the Democratic Party continue to disappoint. In the Washington area, we’ve seen this problem manifest in D.C., Maryland and Virginia. Newly elected Sen. Mark Warner (D-Va.) is happy to make brief appearances at gay fundraisers and barbeques, but he opposes same-sex marriage and civil unions and supports “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

In Maryland, Gov. Martin O’Malley threw gay residents under the bus after the high court ruled against marriage last year. Since that betrayal, he has failed to enact DP benefits for state employees, something he could have done via executive order long ago. He has failed to champion any gay rights legislation, despite expressing phony support for civil unions. And he has all but ignored Equality Maryland during his lackluster tenure as a governor who never met a tax hike he didn’t like.
Maryland will be much better off when he leaves office — bring on Doug Gansler for governor!

And in D.C., Mayor Adrian Fenty, who enjoys strong gay support, lost his ...