Dec 19, 2008   | COMMENTS     

Hey Woody!

I’m 42 and everything still works. There is this 18-year-old at my place of employment who has never been “worked.” We are very attracted to each other. I’m sure that in our small town, he doesn’t know any other gay guys.

He’s too damn young and I have the common sense not to see anybody from work, but pickings are slim around here and it’s been so long since I’ve been with anyone that I may not be able to help myself. Events and his hints are soon going to put us alone in my apartment and I’m afraid I’m going to practically attack him if he gives me that hungry look one more time.

I’m allowing all this to happen and I feel like disaster looms in the future if we go through with it. It’s like watching a slow train wreck. But I’m so damn horny I can’t stand it. Any advice?

Small Town Blues




Dear Blues:

Dude, he’s an adult. As long as you’re not supervising him or have any influence over his career, there is nothing unethical about bending a co-worker over the rail and pounding the dust out of his rug. Awkward, yes. Unethical, no.

Take it from me, I had a sex buddy at work for years. Nobody knew or suspected, even though we worked in the same department and often took long lunches.

Did I agonize about it like you are? No. When He Who Must Be Obeyed (i.e. Mr. Peter) speaks, I listen. When he tells me to pump, I’m only allowed to ask how hard.

Whatever you decide, you need to decide quickly or you’re going to be called out. People notice when co-workers exchange smoldering looks. You think they don’t, but they do. I’ll bet my last mound of crack that you’ve got at least three office busybodies dying for somebody like you to do something scandalous.

My buddy and I got away with it for years because we both realized we could NEVER, EVER flirt. Not even vaguely coded e-mails. Hell, especially e-mails. Actually, we made it a point to hardly talk at work. We were stupid in lust but not stupid at work.

The difference in your case is that one, you live in a small town where rumors can seriously hurt your career and two, you don’t know if this guy would turn vindictive if things fall apart (what a nightmare — a boyfriend turned bunny-boiler at work!) or three, that you’d fall in love and have to work with somebody who just wanted a fling.

Still, I’d think twice about giving up stud crack for “what ifs.” If you’re going to play that game, at least make it balanced: What if he turns out to be the best lay of your life? What if he turns out to be the love of your life? What if you trick and become best friends?

Ultimately, you have to decide if the risk is greater than the reward. I’ve made my position clear (although, really, I can think of several positions off the top of my head). Just remember this: there are few things we ever regret doing. There are a lot more we regret not doing.

Reach Woody at his new blog: www.mikealvear.com.