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JOAN GARRY
Friday, March 21, 2008
THIS WEEK I attended the GLAAD Media Awards in New York, an event that honors media portrayals of the LGBT community. It’s always a great event — lots of energy, star power and a clear understanding of the power and importance of the organization’s mission.
The next morning over breakfast, we provided our 13-year-olds, Ben and Kit, with the requisite celebrity update: Who was there? Did you meet them? Were they nice (Ben)? Did they give money to GLAAD (Kit)?
They were very excited to learn that I met Randy Jackson from “America Idol” but disappointed to hear that he did not call me “dawg.” He calls everyone “dawg.” Trust me when I say I did not feel slighted.
And while the stars and honorees are the main attractions, the real stars of the evening are often found sitting in the audience. Their names would not mean anything to Ben and Kit.
MTV’s Brian Graden, whose extraordinary mark on LGBT images began with “The Real World” and is now alive and well at LOGO, introduced his mom who was in the audience. In his remarks, he credited her with providing strong and steady support, which included playing a pretend guest on the replica set of “The Price is Right” that Brian built as a kid. (How gay is that?)
Then there was Judy Shepard and Elke Kennedy, two straight moms who have dealt with the unimaginable — the deaths of their sons which propelled them into a movement that needs them. We need their voices. We need them to lift us up, to make us stronger. We need them to be our mothers, too.
There are always moms at these events and I never take it for granted. But it could also be that I was more aware this year. I seem to have become a resource for families in my town with openly gay or gender-variant kids.
A MONTH AGO it was a couple with an 8-year-old son being ostracized by his male classmates who consider him a “sissy” and by female classmates who find his interest in “girl stuff” odd. Two weeks ago, it was a couple whose 14-year-old son has been open about his sexual orientation for more than a year. Neither of these couples traveled down “Woe Is Me Road.” They were asking for advice on how best to support their kids. They wanted resources for themselves — so they could be the best parents they could be.
They don’t want their kids to be targets. They want their kids to be loved and accepted for who they are. Both families told me I gave them a lot of inspiration and hope. Funny, because that’s exactly what those couples gave me.
As we drove Monday night, I asked my partner Eileen what she would remember about the evening. Maybe, Eileen said, it would be when Barbara Walters said she’d trade in all her Emmys for this one GLAAD award she received for her work on a piece she did for 20/20 on transgender youth.
EILEEN WAS RIGHT (as she so often is) but for me, the moment that stuck with me was a bit earlier. It was the clip they showed from the award-winning piece with Barbara’s voiceover: “When I sat down with Riley, I had no idea what to expect. And when she dissolved into tears, I found myself no longer a reporter, but her comforter.”
Comfort, strength, support. It was a mother’s touch.
One other moment stuck with me. It was a conversation I had with my friend Julie’s mom. She is there every year without fail. Julie is GLAAD’s development director and I remember Julie telling me that her mom was already donating when she joined the staff 11 years ago. As we do each year, Joan Anderson and I spent a few minutes talking about Julie. “I don’t know how I did it but she is a strong, amazing woman,” she said.
Dr. Julie Anderson will leave GLAAD this summer to begin a new chapter as a psychologist. She will no doubt spend a lot of time listening to people talk about their mothers. She’ll be really good at it.
I know this to be true because this week I was reminded by some extraordinary parents that strong amazing apples don’t fall far from strong, amazing trees.
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