Mar 07, 2008  |  By: JOSHUA LYNSEN  | COMMENTS     

Rev. Dean Snyder can’t officially marry gay or lesbian couples.

But denominational bylaws won’t stop the senior pastor at Washington’s Foundry United Methodist Church from conducting services that honor same-sex couples.

“It seemed uncharitable and unfair to make such a big deal about our straight couples’ commitments and not to honor the commitments of our gay and lesbian couples when the fruits of the spirit, the signs of God’s grace, were obviously present in their relationships,” he said, “just as it was in our straight couples’ relationships.”

Snyder, who is straight, recently told his congregation he would preside over services that “recognize and honor” gay couples in committed relationships.

He said the services are not marriage ceremonies, but allow “us to gather as a congregation, and as family and friends of a couple, and say we recognize your commitment and we honor it.”

“After three years of prayer and discussion, this is where I came to,” Snyder said. “It’s not a good solution, but it’s a step in the right direction, not treating gay and lesbian couples as though their relationships didn’t count.”

The move has drawn mixed reactions. Church board members are unanimously supporting Snyder, but the conservative Institute on Religion and Democracy lambasted the pastor for sidestepping the rules.

“It is absurd to claim that a United Methodist church can recognize a same-sex union without celebrating it,” said Mark Tooley, the group’s United Methodist director, in a statement. “Are we to believe that the United Methodist pastor will robotically acknowledge such unions without any endorsement of them, all while surrounded by the trappings of a traditional wedding service?”

Tooley called on local United Methodist Bishop John Schol to intervene and prevent the services.

But the protests are falling on deaf ears. Schol has said the services don’t violate church law. Snyder, meanwhile, is shrugging off Tooley’s rhetoric.

“I actually know Mark and Mark’s a nice guy,” Snyder said. “My suspicion is that Mark would rather be talking about other things than this, but institutionally, this is how they keep their base.”

Snyder said an examination of church law shows, as the bishop concluded, that he’s doing nothing wrong.

“The word ‘celebrate’ actually means solemnize, which is what you do at a wedding,” he said. “It’s a technical term and that’s what I believe ‘celebrate’ means in this context. I don’t believe it means to clap and applaud and hurrah.”

Snyder said he’s disappointed, though, that he can’t do more for his congregation’s gay couples.

“This doesn’t feel like a very adequate solution because we do something different for straight couples than we do for gay and lesbian couples,” he said. “This isn’t where we need to get to finally. This is just a step that we think we can do now.”

Snyder, who did not consult the bishop before announcing his plans for fear of putting Schol “into the position of having to approve it or disapprove it,” said he sometimes asked himself whether he should have just broken church rules and announced plans to conduct gay marriages.

“At the same time,” he said, “I have respect for the fact that we are a church where we seek to develop consensus and not everyone runs off doing their own thing.”

But if the move by one congregation can help change that consensus, Snyder said he’s happy to have played a role.

“From my perspective, I think it’s a wonderful thing to live in a time when we can part of social change in our country on behalf of a more just and inclusive society,” he said. “So I think it’s actually a great thing for us to be able to play a role and to be part of the making of history. I mean in a large sense. Not that this is a large thing that we’re doing, but this constant process of being part of a movement within history, that we get to play a small part in it.”

Joshua Lynsen can be reached at jlynsen@washblade.com.