Apr 25, 2008  |  By: Garrett Peck  | COMMENTS     

I TURNED 40 recently. I don’t feel, act or look it, but I most certainly am 40. In our youth-obsessed culture, this is the age when you are technically going downhill. But now that I’m here, it feels like age is just a number on paper. 

Since it looks like we’ll live to be 97 (give or take a few years), we might rethink what it means to be young, middle aged or old. Perhaps “reaching my middle years” is more accurate. 

Have you noticed how ageism works out in the online dating world? I’m astonished by how many guys put down a dating age range that caps at 35, as if 35 represents some magical threshold, after which you are no longer young (or hot). Everyone wants someone not just young looking, but actually young. 

But I tell you, that isn’t the case at all. During the last few years of my annual Provincetown vacation, I’ve noticed many guys in their 40s and 50s who are maintaining themselves very nicely. And they’re not hiding their grey hair either, which is hot, hot, hot. We’re a generation taking better care of ourselves, eating better, exercising and wearing sunscreen. It’s not a case of being well-preserved like a relic; it’s about being well-maintained. 

AS YOU GET older, you make peace with your body issues. I’ll never be any taller. I’ve never had a suntan in my life — it’s just not in my genes (and worse, being fair skinned puts me at a high risk for skin cancer). The six-pack abs have yet to materialize, though I am happy for the flat stomach and low cholesterol. And so far, I’ve kept the wrinkles at bay. 

What a refreshing breeze the movie “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” was. Steve Carell was hysterical as Andy Stitzer, a man in his middle years who had never had sex until he fell for the sexy Trish, a woman with three children and a grandchild. “She’s a hot grandma!” Andy gushed to his friends. “I’m the dude with the hot granny.” Catherine Keener, the actress who played Trish, is 49 years old. One hot grandma indeed. 

SO MUCH OF aging is about a healthy attitude. The mother of one of my best friends is still spry at nearly 90. She gets the joke when we call her “Mrs. Robinson” (as in Anne Bancroft’s character in “The Graduate”). While many people her age complain about their health and the people they know who have died, Stella is too busy socializing, keeping up with her gardening and traveling. She is aging gracefully — exactly how I want to be.  

As for me, I think you’re old when you’re dead. Until then, we can all stay young at heart — and we can learn from people of all ages. Just a few months back, I was flattered when a 23-year-old asked me out for a date. He’s 17 years younger than I am. But you know what? He asked me out by text message. Oh, brave new world that has such people in it.