|
WOODY MILLER
Friday, July 18, 2008
Hey Woody!
I’ve been dating someone for a couple of months now whom I care about very much. We get along great, but there’s one big fat issue: hygiene. My boyfriend has a very different concept of it than I do.
Actually, I have a concept; he doesn’t really seem to.
He didn’t wear deodorant when I met him. I told him it was an issue for me from the beginning. I’ve been trying to get him in the habit of taking care of himself, but it’s not something he really gets motivated to do on his own.
I have to ask him over and over if he put deodorant on before we leave the house. And, hello! Nothing seems to be strong enough!
It’s getting to the point that I don’t want to have sex with him because his habits gross me out. Plus, I’m embarrassed in public. Do you have any suggestions, or should I look into getting my nose cauterized?
Dear Pits,
You have nobody to blame but yourself. People are on their best behavior during courtship. If his best was throwing his underwear against the wall and watching it crawl up to the ceiling, what did you think his worst would be?
You made the classic mistake of thinking you can change somebody once you’re in a relationship. You can’t — not on something that fundamental. How successful do you think he’d be in getting you to stop taking showers?
You’ve got two options: Break up with him or accept the fact that you’re going to lose your short-term memory every time he takes his shirt off.
Hey Woody!
I love being a bottom. There’s nothing sexier. The thing is, when I’m having sex,
I feel like I am going to relieve myself on him, which would be mortifying to say the least.
I douche, and while that completely empties me, sex still feels like I’m going to lose control. I’m usually so worried during intercourse that I can’t enjoy it properly.
How do I stop that feeling and get over this?
Dear Full,
It’s not about stopping the feeling; it’s about re-interpreting it. Having a man inside you generates the same pressure you feel when you need to go to the bathroom. That pressure then tightens the part of your body that stops you from defecating (the pubo-rectal sling).
Only thing is, there’s nothing to defecate. Basically, your body is lying to you. First, it fools you into thinking you have to go when you don’t, then it tries to stop you from expelling something that isn’t there.
You can’t stop the feelings, but you can stop reacting to them. Right now, you’re confusing symptoms with sensations. Yes, the sensations are real, but they’re not symptoms of anything imminent.
The next time he enters you, say to yourself, “Ah, the pressure is fooling my body. All I need to do is relax the muscles that just tightened.”
|
