|
ROBERT A. BERNSTEIN
Friday, September 12, 2008
SUPPORTERS
OF
GAY
marriage
don’t
come
any
more
zealous
than
I.
I’m
the
proud
father
of
a
lesbian
in
a
nearly
20-year
domestic
relationship
formalized
in
a
commitment
ceremony
before
some
125
gay
and
straight
friends
from
around
the
country.
I’m
the
author
of
a
book
about
some
loving
and
close-knit
families
with
same-sex
parents.
But
I
feel
uneasy
when
activists
press
Barack
Obama
in
public
discussion
on
the
issue.
I
wonder
whether
every
mention
of
“gay
marriage”
in
a
headline,
news
story,
or
blog
might
not
be
a
plus
for
John
McCain.
And
his
vice
presidential
choice
of
Sarah
Palin
has
sharpened
my
concern.
Past
polls
have
showed
a
significant
“enthusiasm
gap,”
with
Democrats
generally
far
more
energized
than
Republicans
in
support
of
their
candidate.
In
part,
that’s
because
the
gay
marriage
issue,
unlike
2004,
has
been
largely
dormant.
So
for
McCain,
kindling
it
is
a
potential
antidote.
Some
Republicans
have
even
refused
to
write
off
California
as
a
sure
thing
for
the
Democrats,
hoping
that
the
anti-gay
marriage
ballot
measure
there
can
whip
up
sufficient
fundamentalist
passion
to
upset
the
blue-state
presumption.
And
McCain’s
choice
of
Palin
threatens
to
rouse
that
very
fervor
nationwide.
So
perhaps
activists
should
heed
a
couple
of
strategic
bromides:
Silence
is
golden,
lest
sleeping
(or
at
least
drowsy)
dogs
be
goaded
to
bark.
No
one
doubts
that
Obama’s
attitude
toward
gay
equality
is
light
years
beyond
that
of
his
opponent.
Unlike
John
McCain,
Obama
openly
opposes
the
California
anti-marriage
ballot
measure.
Unlike
McCain,
he
has
congratulated
newlywed
same-sex
couples
there
and
said
they
deserve
full
equality.
Unlike
McCain,
he
urged
in
his
acceptance
speech
that
“surely
we
can
agree
that
our
gay
and
lesbian
brothers
and
sisters
deserve
.
.
.
to
live
free
of
discrimination.”
HECTORING
POLITICIANS
DOESN’T
help
achieve
gay
marriage.
There’s
a
time
and
place
for
that
—
but
it’s
not
during
the
current
presidential
campaign.
In
the
long
run,
what
does
help
is
changing
the
hearts
and
minds
of
the
pols’
constituents,
whose
votes
are
of
course
their
political
lifeblood.
Thus:
PFLAG
support
groups
help.
Gay-friendly
churches
and
synagogues
help.
Gay-Straight
Alliances
in
high
schools
help.
Every
time
a
straight
person’s
respected
friend,
co-worker,
or
colleague
comes
out
of
the
closet,
that
helps.
At
root,
in
other
words,
the
enemy
of
gay
marriage
and
gay
equality
isn’t
politicians
who
cast
anti-gay
votes
or
fail
to
support
pro-gay
policies.
The
enemy
is
the
discomfort
of
the
average
voter
—
who
doesn’t
want
to
hear
or
talk
about
anything
related
to
sexual
identity
—
triggered
by
the
mere
mention
of
sexual
identity,
I’ve
watched
literally
hundreds
of
parents
at
PFLAG
meetings,
often
in
tears,
as
they
struggle
merely
to
utter
the
words,
“My
child
is
gay.”
And
I’ve
watched
those
same
parents,
though
only
gradually,
overcome
their
discomfort
and
become
staunch
supporters
of
equality
as
they
talk
about
sexual
orientation
and
meet
scores
of
fine
gay
folk.
Nationwide,
the
initially
teary
include
thousands
who
now
march
proudly
in
Gay
Pride
parades
and
testify
before
school
boards,
city
councils,
and
state
and
national
legislatures.
NUMEROUS
COURAGEOUS
CLERGY
are
triggering
the
same
sort
of
gradual
conversions,
via
gay-friendly
remarks
from
the
pulpit,
specifically
welcoming
LGBT
congregants
and
encouraging
workshops
and
open
discussion
among
their
flocks.
And
most
corporations
by
now
have
learned,
that
gay-friendly
policies
can
be
a
boon
to
the
bottom
line.
Some
of
the
most
powerful
firms
have
become
staunch
supporters
of
employment
non-discrimination
measures.
It’s
inevitable
that
the
day
will
come
when
the
law
will
bestow
legal
status
to
the
commitment
of
my
daughter
and
her
partner.
But
it
will
occur
as
a
result
of
gradual
person-by-person
enlightenment,
not
by
hectoring
the
presidential
candidates
between
now
and
Nov.
4.
|
 |
