Jan 02, 2009  |  By: ROBERT A. BERNSTEIN  | COMMENTS     

CALIFORNIA’S PROPOSITION 8 vote was a loss for gay marriage and a victory for the Mormon church. Right? Wrong.

In the long run, the vote is more apt to be viewed as a sort of second Stonewall, rallying the rights movement with a force not seen for more than 30 years. And the campaign behavior of the Mormon church — already losing members over its Neanderthal stand on gay equality — stands to irreparably damage its spiritual respectability.

Passage of Proposition 8 sparked a national firestorm of protests throughout the nation. In Salt Lake City itself, thousands marched at the Mormon Temple.

Perhaps most meaningfully, the protesters included large numbers of gays and lesbians, and their families and friends, who were spurred to activism for the first time.

Among those marching locally were Lanette and Robert Graves, who live in Northern Virginia and are parents of a gay son. Lani Graves says that what she felt in the crowd was “not bitterness but energy — I think the gay community has been energized and galvanized over this.” Many of the marchers, she feels, were people who previously had been keeping their sexual orientation separate from the main current of their lives and only now are stepping into the arena.

“This wasn’t ugliness,” she says. “It was determination, energy, a feeling of joy, like we are energized, we are empowered.”

In New York City, one of the speakers was fashion model and television personality Kim Stolz, an out lesbian. Among some 4,000 demonstrators at City Hall were her parents — in their first appearance ever at a gay rights event, although they have long been supportive. The next day, Stolz wrote on the MTV web site that she was “exhilarated from the energy of the masses before me.” She said, “the solidarity, confidence, bravery, and inspiration” emanating from Proposition 8 “could lead to victory of the greater war.”

AMONG THOSE AT the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City were Gary and Millie Watts, parents of two gay children. Shortly before the election, Gary Watts resigned his Mormon membership because of the church’s role in the Proposition 8 campaign, which Watts in his formal letter of resignation called an example of “organized religion run amok.”

The departed include even the son of the Mormons’ grassroots director for the state of California, Gary Lawrence. Son Lawrence, 28, of Santa Ana, Calif., is one of more than 500 who have reported their resignations to www.signingforsomething.org.

Lani and Robert Graves, like the Watts, are also resigning their membership as a result of the church’s role in the misleading Yes On 8 campaign. And Lani is outspoken in her conviction that the church has suffered a stunning defeat.

Church leadership, she says, didn’t have a clue that they would be accountable and have been “stunned” at the backlash. They’re “used to working under the radar” — she cites their effective opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s — and didn’t foresee the effect of updated forms of communication such as the Internet.

THE GRAVES’ DAUGHTER Bonnie was among those in the Los Angeles post-election protest, carrying a large banner saying, “Seventh generation heterosexual Mormon mom Votes No on Prop. 8.” But now, Bonnie too will resign her church membership. Her mother says, “People are fed up with their church hurting somebody they love.”

The oft-cited irony, of course, is that the so-called defense of “traditional marriage” was led by a church that had to be forcefully pressured into formally renouncing polygamy, an example of how social and economic pressures can become important “spiritual” factors.

Another telling example, according to Graves, is the Mormon church’s retreat from segregation, which she says came only after boycotts such as Stanford University’s refusal to play Brigham Young University in a bowl game.

So perhaps it’s some hint of future church policy that when I Googled “boycott Utah ski resorts,” I got 6,150 hits.